Hey again dude. I got some alternatives for you, but I don't know if you'll like them. Anyway, here they are:
You wrote:
I destruct
Throwing feathers every way
I destruct
And the birds fly away for a while
I write:
I destruct
Throwing feathers every way
I destruct
And the birds fly away
Remove for a while to make the part sound more dynamic and maybe a bit more surreal and unknown. We don't really know how long they'll stay away now, and as you destruct, the birds will fly away. Maybe they're back when you're fine?
You wrote:
One day, one day so soon
One birds crashes
Into bullet-proof glass
Drops into flaming trash
And soon, so soon after
The others follow suit
I write:
One day, one day so soon
One bird crashes
Into glass so bullet-proof
Drops into flaming trash
And soon, so soon after
The others follow suit
I didn't really make major differents, just some small to make they sound more dynamic (at least in my ears). You can yell at me if I ruined the verses, but this was my take on it. Btw, I got this one line your song that I ****ing love: As destructive positive negatives
Cheers for this time!
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