i'm not yet out to my family, formally speaking, cause i do try to have a sort of 'normal' personality inside the house but at work, or when i was still at school, i flaunt everything. i do have brother and sisters but it's the very reason why i opted to go to school that's not the same as theirs. my parents wanted us to go the the same school. i can't because that would mean the same character restriction as i had at home.
now, i'm still living with my parents cause i'm the one supporting them but i still can't even think of opening up. my father kept on asking when can he have his grandson aka the III (3rd), cause i'm a Jr./junior u know. everytime he ask me that, i just smile. my father is already bed-ridden and using a weelchair because of his gout complications and it breaks my heart even more to see him in his state and asking a grandson from me and i know in my heart his wishes can never be materialized.
i can share lots and lots and lots of stories about me struggling being gay and all the hate i just went through but it may take too many pages. but i'm still hoping one day, the butterfly in me will emerge unterrified and strong. char!
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