[MERIT]

She did after his birth, but that's a pretty hard excuse to throw out over a year later. But as you know, her regular state of mind is nothing spectacular to begin with, being bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic.

I feel so bad for her. There are things that she hates about herself, but she manifests that hate towards me. We have conversated and I expressed to her in great detail how she has to be happy with herself before she can be happy with anyone else, and how she criticizes in other what she dislikes about herself, and she fully agrees. But then she flies off the handle and all of that work goes out the window.

She always has to be feuding with someone and idolizing someone esle in her life. Right now, she views me as the enemy. Her father is building a new house and promised her a room in it, so she's kissing his ass. Once he gets tired of supporting her and starts telling her how much of a failure she is, she will remember that I accept her and love her no matter what, and she will try to come back to me. Then she will get tired of me not being rich like her dad and being able to but her everything, and she will start hating me and kissing his ass again. It's a vicious cycle.

I try to make her sit down and realize the things that are constant in her life, the things that never change. I never criticize or belittle her, even when she hates me. I always put her first. I always did what was best for her, even when that decision was unpopular. She hated me for helping to get her committed to the mental hospital during one of her episodes, but she later thanked me. Then she hated me because I refused to sign a lease when neither one of us had jobs. If we had, we'd be stuck in a contract with no way to pay the bills, which would be even worse.