Originally Posted by Conan

I'm filled with an indescribable rage right now. I'm so mad I can't think straight. I actually went outside and walked around for a bit just to try and calm myself down and it didn't work. I don't think I've ever been so angry and hateful in my entire life. What am I so mad about?

Click on the link if you want to find out, but only if you're prepared to face up to the fact that humanity has sunken to lows not even the ancient Romans, in all their murderous decadence, would have found acceptable. This is the absolute most insipid piece of rubbish I've ever seen.



But it's not enough to be an insipid piece of unfunny, absolutely juvenilee dial-up mommy humor tripe, it has 72,128,795 views. SEVENTY TWO MILLION VIEWS. WGHAhgdtb jdgldgbndohiuervgbyufdcyit, my dear Watson. And that's only the beginning.



This is even more stupid, and it has somehow managed to attract 195,806,605 views. That's right. One hundred ninety-five, eight hundred six thousand, six hundred and five views. I've given up on society. I've given up on life.

I can hear your thoughts now, you're saying "But Tim, just because 195 million people watched it doesn't mean they think it was funny." You're wrong. I know people who'd laugh at this. And at least 43,319 people enjoyed it, according to the Like Bar. That's 43,319 more people than should have liked it. All 195,806,605 people who watched that video should have immediately complained, or flagged it, or punched a whole in the sodding computer monitor like I did. There's just no excuse. This shouldn't exist. Who made this and thought it was funny? Why did our society kill John Lennon, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and Dr. King but the person who makes this tripe runs free?

I'm so glad we invented the internet. Unlimited access to infinite amounts of information, educational benefits for the underprivileged, the free expression of thoughts and ideas ready to be received, studied and dissected by anyone in the world...


..or this.

dfiughdfgjsi ghudm,z]{>!!!!!i iduohg optomekjkkl,nuj9mi9okbngc!!!

That was me punching the keyboard in frustration.



For future reference, here's a list of things that I don't think are funny.

1. Chipmunk voices
2. Farts
3. Babies
4. Dane Cook
5. Indian Accents
6. Cancer
7. Talking animals
8. The same "People of Wal-Mart" email you keep forwarding me
9. Puns
10. People getting hit in the groin