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Old 08-26-2011, 09:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
CanwllCorfe
Quiet Man in the Corner
 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pocono Mountains
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hip hop bunny hop View Post
It's too scattered. Why not just say, "Hi! I like quirky music, do you? If so, let us make band!"
Yes. Simple is always better. It just looks like you're namedropping, and doing too much of it. It should just say "Violinist looking for like-minded musicians" and then the last line with your number, with maybe a line or two about what you're looking for. Once you get in touch with them, then you can give them the pertinent details.
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