Music Banter - View Single Post - Rate my song lyrics please!! :)
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Old 10-08-2011, 09:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
Jriddle
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1
Default Rate my song lyrics please!! :)

I wrote this a few days ago, and I just wanted somebody's objective opinion
Its kind of a spin on a few nursery rhymes

Good morning Sunshine [verse 1]
Oh, how I'd love to see you all the time
I'd hide the moon if you'd stay in the sky
For just a little longer.
Hide-and-seek inside the clouds,
And I swear I can't quite figure out
Why the world stole something so beautiful.

I've been working overtime [pre-chorus]
Trying to find
The words, just to define
Why you should stay.

Good morning sunshine, [Chorus]
My only sunshine,
You make me happy,
Don't go away.
Twinkle twinkle, little star,
and the spider got away.
There's a little man inside the moon
And he's begging you to stay.

Good morning moonlight, [Verse 2]
Just like a diamond in the sky.
Sometimes the shadow of the sun
can give us reason to fly again.
But if a shadow's what I'm chasing
How can I know if every second's wasted.
When I'm hiding half my face,
It's the shadow's embrace
That means more than anything.

I've been working overtime [Pre-chorus]
Trying to find
The words, just to define
Why you should stay.

Good morning sunshine, [Chorus]
My only sunshine,
You make me happy,
Don't go away.
Twinkle twinkle, little star,
and the spider got away.
There's a little man inside the moon
And he's begging you to stay.

Do you ever feel [Bridge]
Like the moon is chasing after you?
'Cause it always seems
Like the sun is gone far to quickly.
I've been trying to be
Just as bright as I can be
I wish that you would notice me..

Good morning sunshine, [Chorus]
My only sunshine,
You made me happy,
You went away.
Twinkle twinkle, little star,
and the spider got away.
There's a little man inside the moon
And he's begging you to stay.



That's it, I don't know if it's too corny, etc. But there's a fair bit of meaning behind it, so I want to make it good, if I can. Don't know whether or not to YouTube it, so comments would be fantastic!
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