I've never been whisked away to sub-arctic climes by a ginger vixen with too many toes; nor have I ever frolicked in the nude with a shorn goat wearing a pair of my dead grandfather's best dress trousers.
I've never bested a gay elephant breeder at a feisty game of musical chairs; nor have I ever sipped pomegranate juice out of a blue crystal goblet while attempting to perform a double backwards somersault off of a small, pear-shaped boulder.
Oh, the things I've never done!
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