Speaking on the topic of minor inconveniences and irritants that I allow to completely disrupt the flow of my daily life, I do not much care for glow in the dark items. It's all well and fine when your parents glue imaginary constellations on your roof, but an unidentified glow in the dark object in my room can paralyze me with fear. When I was five, I had a glow in the dark Halloween bucket from a fast food chain bearing a jovial jack-o-lantern grin. Unbeknownst to me at the time, after the season had passed my mother had stored it beneath my bed. I awoke late one night, bladder swollen with fluid, and tiptoed to the bathroom to relieve myself. Upon returning to my bed, I could see beneath it a sinister face glowing and grinning with malice. Frankly, I'm amazed I ever slept again.
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