I have been doing nothing but having weird dreams lately. Mainly nightmares.
The most disconcerting this past week was a normal dream - with no visuals. It was completely black, and I could hear everything, and I was still walking around and doing everything in my dream, but I couldn't *see* it. It didn't feel like I was blind or anything, it was more like the video cable had accidentally come unplugged while watching a movie or something. Definitely horrifying.
I also had one - that I just woke up from - which was straight pop culture. It started with me "waking up" on the couch where I fell asleep, and Chris Jericho,
dressed thusly, was standing at the end of the couch, smiling down at me. In my dream, I jumped up, asked him what he was doing there, and he just continued smiling and pointed outside.
There were a bunch of people in robes on my porch, which I recognized as witches and wizards from Hogwarts, and they were motioning for me to come with them. I looked back to where Jericho had been standing, but he was gone, and I walked outside, thinking this was the weirdest way I'd ever been awakened.
They took me with them to fight Harry Potter, who had taken over the wizarding world and turned evil, and they gave me swords. I was confused, but I took them. By the time we got to this weird warehouse where the battle was going to take place, though, I realized that I only had a small knife. We're talking a paring knife with a fancy handle. I tried to bail, but they told me I'd already agreed.
We made our way into the warehouse, and there were a lot of people I recognized in there: Some were random celebrities, some were Harry Potter characters, and some were people I went to high school with and hadn't seen in years. Weird. They all had better weapons than me, and I tried to hide. I was pretty sure that I was going to die, armed only with a paring knife.
I heard people talking about how upstairs in the warehouse, there was a room full of bulls, which is weird, but I just accepted it. I hid and found a wand. I heard people saying that Harry would be there with his lifetakers (apparently his version of deatheaters) in two hours, so I knew that I needed to go somewhere and practice with the wand.
Unfortunately, the only spells I could remember were "Lumos," "Lumos maximus," (I don't know if that one's even really in the books) "Riddikulus," (there was no boggart, so useless) "Sectumsempra," "Crucio," and "Avada Kedavra." For obvious reasons, I couldn't even practice the latter three. It turned out I was pretty good at Lumos though, and I remembered that "Nox" would make it dark again (Again, not 100% they actually use that one in the books/movies) but I wandered into a room in the warehouse to practice more.
Inside was my high school history teacher, and Professor Snape. They had Milla Jovovich tied to the wall, and were practicing the unforgivable curses on her, so I tried to leave without them seeing. They saw me anyway, and tried to get me to practice on her, but I couldn't do it, and they amazingly let me leave.
Now, for some reason, at this point I had a video camera and had apparently been filming this entire thing as a documentary. It made no sense, because I knew upon waking I'd not had the camera the whole time, but in the dream, it seemed like I did.
The warehouse was suddenly some really elaborate and terrifying manor, haunted no less, and all kinds of horrible stuff was happening.
My high school history teacher showed up again, told me that he wears glasses now because he's older than time itself, and asked me if I wanted to see the ghosts. I said no, and tried to leave, but he said, "They're here anyway."
So, I started running through the haunted house, trying to find a way out. My friend ran into me in the dream, and asked if I wanted to screen the footage on the camera, and I said sure. We found a TV and started looking at the footage I'd shot - only to realize that I'd only shot porn. I realized with horror that Jimmer Fredette, the Mormon basketball player who graduated from BYU last year, had been my videographer, and that the video was gay porn with Kyle MacLachlan and Tim Tebow. I knew that I had to destroy it, and apologize to Jimmer.
Suddenly, Harry Potter arrived, and everyone was picking up swords. I remembered that my video camera had a wand in it (wtf?) so I rushed off into battle.
Right before I woke up, I was running up the stairs and heard girls screaming, then my history teacher screamed, "Oh, for the love of God, the bulls are tearing them to pieces!"