Bipolar is impossible to live with, and I just **** everything up anyway. Even friends I've had for years can be completely alienated, and it's all my fault.
I should be able to control this better, and the alternative is taking medication and being a zombie again, and being fat, and I really don't want to completely destroy everything that I am just to medicate.
I would really be better off not even existing. I ****ing hate this, more than anything in the world. I just want to be okay without having to be on medication. I can't take medication anymore because it really makes me a zombie and I can't write, I can't act, and I can't do anything.
There's nothing I can do. It's completely hopeless. Either I alienate everyone, or I can't do anything. It's hopeless. Hopeless.
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It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
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