Woo-hoo! With Trollheart's pet --- sorry, Stacey-Lynn! --- off on hollyers I took the opportunity to sweet talk him into letting me try my own section out, and after several bottles of wine he looked blearily at me (well, at a certain part of me, at any rate...) and mumbled something I took to be permission. When he sobered up the next day he kind of half-remembered what he had agreed to, but to be fair, he's too much of a gentleman to go back on his word (not to mention the fact that I chose THAT precise moment to drop my tennis racquet and HAD to bend RIGHT down to pick it up: hah, men! You're so easy to manipulate!) --- What's that Boss? Oh nothing, no, just talking...!
Anyway, here's what I proposed, and what he's letting me do. Every week I'm going to pick out one of the songs I consider the cheesiest and talk about it. Like, you didn't get that from the graphic, huh? My tastes are a little different to Troll's, but generally we like the same sort of music, though he ain't gonna be happy about this first one!
You give love a bad name (Bon Jovi) 1986
Yes, I know it's one of his favorite bands, but hey, I have to be my own person! Can't be afraid of rocking the boat, ya know? Now, I realise lots of people love this and it was the song that set Bon Jovi on the road to fame and glory, but come on! The song is so cheesy it belongs in someone's sandwich! From the opening shouted chorus to the awful lyric, through to the totally predictable and cringeworthy bit in the middle where everything but the percussion stops and they clap the acapella chorus --- ugh! This song for me is indicative of everything that's cheesy and laughable in rock music. Granted, their next albums were more mature, and they soon shook off the “teen-pop/rock idols” mantle they saddled themselves with, via this and the less cheesy but still annoying “Livin' on a prayer” --- make up your mind, Jon! First it “doesn't matter if we make it or not”, then it's “We'll make it I swear!” Which is it? --- and granted too, the album has some great tracks. I love “Wanted dead or alive” and “Let it rock”. But as an announcement of your arrival to the world in general, “You give love a bad name” has cheese stamped all over it. I'm only surprised mice haven't run away with every copy!
The title is also pointless. You give love a bad name? From the behaviour of the main character in the song, it's not love she's all about but something entirely different. Perhaps they should have changed the title to “You give sluts a bad name”? Wouldn't have been quite so radio-friendly then, would it? But more accurate, when you think about it.
I mentioned the lyric. Well, with lines like “Blood red nails on your fingertips”, “Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye”, and the truly terrible “You're a loaded gun” we're not exactly talking very deep thought here now, are we? Let's be honest: it's a throwaway song, although it does have great energy and a sense of fun about it, which is probably why “the kids” went for it in such huge numbers. Not to mention the fact that Jon was quite a looker back then, and the rest of the band weren't no Quasimodos either! But the lyric is childish, the instrumentation is ok but nothing special, and the whole song is aimed at young people, which is nothing bad, but as you grow older and more demanding of your music you begin to see how empty this song is. Sure, I danced and headbanged to it as a girl, but nowadays I turn off the radio if it comes on.
You give love a bad name? More like you give
rock a bad name!