Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

I think maybe you love the "idea" of her (and what she used to be), rather than her. I mean, if she is your total love after all the craziness, then you love some pretty f*cked up sh*t. If that's what you wanna attenuate, then by all means, you'll be pretty experienced at figuring out how to end up where you are now.
But if you'd rather not, maybe you should stop idealizing her in the past tense and just move on, unless you love hanging on to the past and being repeatedly hurt, in which case, you're perfectly good to go!