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Originally Posted by Burning Down
Yeah, kissing in public is vastly different than kissing in private, that's for sure. People tend to go farther in private.
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Yep, I think there's also the fact that when two people of same age and know each other well spend a lot of time together with no one else's company, there's often an unconscious element of a relationship building. Certainly the case with me. And sorry, SO SORRY for being so tacky, but remember that line from the Simpson's movie where Homer's got that pig sitting next to him on the sofa? "Perhaps WE should kiss, just to break the tension?"
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I think experience has something to do with it too, like very first kisses are more innocent in nature but as people start discovering their sexuality and what they like, then of course they become more comfortable with everything. Like when I met my boyfriend I had never been kissed by anybody before (yeah, I was totally late to the game but whatever, lol). He knew that and was cool with it, so for awhile it was just kissing and not much else.
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Completely true, though there's certainly the fact here that that both of you see the other as your partner. You expect to kiss each other. However no amount of intimacy and privacy can cover that fact that the idea "I'm kissing my best friend!!!" is discomforting.
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Then of course we eventually moved on from there (or "moved down"? LOL)
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Well, I think there's more than just the physical differences between boys and girls, I think the way our minds work is different as well. I don't mean the superficial differences, more the fact that I find the way girls minds work more complimentary to boys. I can't really express it well enough, but how I will find more pleasure in hearing about what the girl's reactions to her particular circumstances, and am content to listen and appreciate what she's saying. I find that part of a relationship far better in heterosexual ones, because I am slightly pained to recollect some of the experiences with another boy. We would sit in silence for a lot of the time because I think each was expecting the other to say something, and we'd feel a bit guilty for not doing so. "Sorry I'm being so quiet at the moment, I'm... erm,
deep in thought" he said. Although we've had incredible amounts of fun, it seemed more like an intimate friendship more than anything. Despite the fact that it was superior to any heterosexual relationship I've had.
Mind you I've just turned 17, so anything I've just said must be understood to have come from very limited experience.
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Originally Posted by Rjinnx
I find it really hard to be attracted to people. It's a rarity. For some reason I don't notice others that way. I'm 23, young I guess, but I'm no where ready to have a relationship. Guess it's a commitment thing, or intimacy issues. I don't really know where to start, and it's been bothering me lately. Most people who know are stunned, and don't understand. All of them have been in a serious relationship which I don't understand. Especially the depth or seriousness of it that comes naturally. That way It scares me sometimes. Maybe the capability is not there? Or it's a responsibility thing. I thought it might of been arrogance, but I hardly think so. I kinda envy people who are able to.
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Don't you like the idea of commitment much? Do you have reservations about spending years or even your life with the other person? In which case, congratulations, you're normal! All I can see here is that you're aware that you're not comfortable with that idea, which in my opinion shows more maturity than you could have. I've not been in a serious relationship either, plenty of superficial ones though. But the point is that you shouldn't ever want to commit yourself to someone who you don't think about all the time. I think you're just being sensible.