I've become a full on hypochondriac. In the last week or so I've had Diabetes and Multiple Sclerosis. Diabetes seemed somewhat warranted, since I do have a few family members with it, and my sugar was 209 after I ate. Although the strips I was using were actually made for a different meter than the one I was using. Oh, and the meter I was using was actually old and was supposed to be thrown away a long time ago. Oh, and I put the blood in before I put the strip in, which is obviously wrong. Oh, and I put the strip in the wrong way. It ended up being 96.
The MS thing was just based off weird feeling in my legs (after sitting on the toilet playing Solitaire) and fasciculations (though I've always had those) as well as thinking my stomach issues could be related, even though they don't sound the same. I later found out even if you Google something benign, like arm pain, the third result is heart attack. I've since stopped Googling every damn thing. I can't wait for my anxiety/depression meds to kick in. It should take another week or two. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago, and I've just been so on edge ever since then. It's not so bad when I'm around people. When I'm alone I'm hyper self-aware and dwell on everything. I've pondered death and suicide so many times it doesn't even illicit feeling anymore.
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Your eyes were never yet let in to see the majesty and riches of the mind, but dwell in darkness; for your God is blind.
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