VEGANGELICA

Ah yes...one of those "I'm-dwarflike-and-wearing-a-scratchy-blouse" dreams.



Liz, my interpretation of your dream is that it may mean you feel you are not getting enough respect or do not have as much power or stature as you wish, and you fear getting old. Also, you don't like scratchy old blouses. There's also that.

I haven't had many strikingly vivid dreams recently. My most memorable one was early in January of this year. I remember it well especially because I described it to my loved one later that day, which cemented much of the dream in my memory.

In the dream, he was driving a bright blue station wagon up a gravel road heading east to park somewhere. I saw him from across the street on the south side. Knowing he could see me, I playfully hid behind a shed while walking around it. Then I went up to see him because I had seen he was smiling from inside the station wagon.

Once I reached him, I saw that he was someone who was like a half-magician or wizard, a little like Willy Wonka. He told me that he could make anything he wanted come true. I realized that he was many, many years older than I had thought, but he had chosen to stay younger. I think he was wearing something black, perhaps a cape.

He then demonstrated how he could have anything he wanted happen by saying he was going to turn some object into a house. And BANG! There was a terrific sound in the dream, and suddenly a strange, small, black house appeared, perhaps on stilts.

I remember thinking in the dream that if he could make anything he wanted come true, then I would never know if my meeting him and wanting to meet him was what *he* had dreamed up, or whether it was *my* dream come true, reflecting what *I* wanted. It was sort of a conundrum, because I'd never know the answer.

I can't remember what happened next (just that something happened), and so I'll fast forward to the end of the dream.

I was standing on the sidewalk at the NW corner of an intersection in the city of my birth, when I saw my loved one across the street in his black house (which kind of had legs). I was happy to see him again and so I started to run to him, but instead of going directly across to the street to him the short way, for fun I went the long way (south, then east, then north) to get to him.

By the time I got to the NE corner of the intersection, though, he and his funny black house had crossed the street to the NW corner of the intersection (where I had just been). He was riding in the helm of the house, somewhere near the top and front of it, because the house was kind of a vehicle. I looked at his face and thought he was smiling, and so I was smiling back...

...but then I looked more closely at his face from across the street, and I saw that on his right cheek were three small growths, some sort of cancerous growths, and he *wasn't* smiling. I saw he was unhappy and not well!

So I ran straight across the street to his house and somehow got up to the cockpit area where he was sitting...or whatever one calls the driver's seat for small, mobile houses with legs. I held his face in my hands and I saw that his face was now my father's, and the cancer was growing in his mouth more and more.

My loved one didn't say anything but he gave me, or suddenly I had, a letter from him, and suddenly I was farther away from him, back across the street, with the road between us. The message wasn't written in his handwriting but instead the letters were all cut out, as if from a magazine. The letters he had pasted for me on the paper said the following: "I have 2 say goodbye." The message used the number "2," also, which surprised me at the time and amused me later.

That's when I awoke, very sad, haunted by my fear of his suffering and dying, and by my fear of the impending and unavoidable separation and loss. :/

(^ Often when I dream, I have a strong sense of direction or orientation. )

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