Originally Posted by AndrahilAdrian

Metal is the glaring exception. There has never been a metal band I've liked, and there never will be. The fundamental premises of the genre (absurd levels of distortion, over-long, self-congratulatory guitar solos, harsh vocals, a disdain for melody) are just plain unmusical. If a heavy metal band was good, it wouldn't be heavy metal. I think on some level metalheads realize this, so they don't talk about their music the way fans of actual music do. Nobody ever calls an Iron Maiden or Cannibal Corpse song "beautiful", they say it's "badass" or "Intense". Its like they take pride in listening to music that's as noisy, abrasive, and downright nasty as possible. In a way, this is justified; anyone who can listen to metal for more than a few minutes without getting a headache is made of sterner stuff than me. And then there's the rediculous "aesthetic"; the face paint and the absurdly long hair and the sexist machismo and the single-minded focus on being as offensive as possible. This wouldn't be a problem if this attitude didn't extend to the music itself, which is rooted in Black Sabbath's focus on outraging people rather than, you know, being good. The only good things about metal are the hilarious band names, like Prostitute Disfigurement and Cock And Ball Torture and Circle of Dead Children and so on. They probably think they're really scary and unnerving, or retain a pretentious belief that they are somehow "pushing boundaries" or "exposing humanity's dark side" (see: Marilyn Manson). In actuality they are just a bunch of immature morons making terrible music for dumb rednecks and social misfits. I find it hard to believe anyone actually likes this stuff; I'm convinced they only pretend to because they think enjoying noises normal people think are unpleasant makes them special. If even one person saw metal as anything other than complete and total garbage, it would be overrated. Yes, metal is a vast genre ecompassing various testaments to human stupidity. If you like your stupidity served with a side of pretension, try prog metal or symphonic metal. If you like new age lunatic stupidity, check out pagan or folk metal. If you're into skinhead racist stupidity, take a look at teutonic metal. If you feel like the patented Vanilla Ice brand of stupidity, try rap metal. And if you want to out-stupid the stupids, listen to death metal. Do you know what all these myriad subgenres have in common? That's right, they're all totally stupid. Metal is fundamentally stupid. So I can dismiss any band that plays metal out of hand.

Originally Posted by AndrahilAdrian

Well mate, if you direct me to a metal song with a bona fide melody I'll duly listen to it. I doubt you will, since metal is diametrically opposed to melody, instead employing power chords, masturbatory solos, and general loudness to woo its suggestible audience. A metal song with melody probably wouldn't even qualify as metal. Even if it did, the melody would be lost beneath all that hideous distortion. Basically, metal is musical cancer, and if you like it, there's something wrong with you. Of course, metal fans likely take that as a compliment, since, as I said, they judge their music very differently from how normal people do; abrasion and general unlistenable-ness are signs that the music is "intense". A metal song with melody and tune would betray the fundamental tenents of metal.

Originally Posted by eraser.time206

If you can't deal with the fact that there are 6+ billion people in the world and none of them think exactly the same that's not my problem. Just deal with it yourself or make actual conversation. This isn't a court and I'm not some poet or prophet that needs everything I say to be analytically critiqued.