Thx Vanilla, it's appreciated. As it happens I don't believe in God (though you can bet when I die if there's a Heaven I'll be banging on the door --- let me in you bastards! I BELIEVE!!) but it would certainly be nice if one did exist. Looking at how much crap there is in the world though it's hard to believe, though of course this is all our fault and I guess he could be like some kid who was playing a game and then got bored and went for a walk. When he comes back (several thousand years later, just in time for his mega-tea) if he finds civiilsation destroyed does he blame himself, or just shrug and go to see what's on the telly?
But I do believe my mam is looking down on us, and it certainly gives me a surge of pride when either of my sisters, or my aunt, says that ma would be proud of me. Again though, I don't see the big deal: how could a brother NOT do this? How could you leave your sister helpless, or in care, and go on with your life? Couldn't do it, not me. Can't understand how anyone could.
Trouble with being the only one though is that when (as happened recently) I get sick, there's no-one to take care of me and I still have to look after her, no matter how bad I feel. That makes her feel bad, but I just do my best to shrug it off. Luckily I'm rarely that sick: no going to bed for me!
