To follow on from my Cheerios rant, there is another food that pisses me off. Veggie burgers. Now don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against vegetarians, but veggie burgers are loathsome. It's not that they taste bad, it's that they taste like the most bland hamburger you've ever tasted. And they don't even really taste all that much like a hamburger. You have to cover them in ketchup and mustard just to keep up the illusion.
Now, that bothers me, but my real, ultimate gripe with veggie burgers is that they are dishonest, lying ****s. Vegetarians try to pretend that they (and tofurkey and tofu dogs and any other bull**** meat substitute) taste just like the real thing. No dumbass, they don't. Or even more galling, that they are better. Kill yourself. If a veggie burger tasted better than a real burger no one would eat real burgers. This is just your desperate attempt to pretend that you're not giving anything up when you give up meat. You make your sad little veggie burger and eat it in the hope that it will remind you of better times and better burgers, like some pathetic lonely man desperately thrusting into an inflatable sex doll, tears streaming unheeded down his face, as he tries to remember his dead wife. So, in conclusion, veggie burgers can suck my balls.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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