Music Banter - View Single Post - Critique my poetry please! Thinking of publishing need honest opinions.

slappyjenkins · 12-03-2012, 01:35 PM

^^I feel somehow all of sudden naked after communicating with you in these last few posts...but that is not neccessarily a bad thing. I've needed a vent for a long time.

I think I hold people to the 'Cindy' standard and I don't know how to break it. I was able to tell her anything. I was able to be weak around her. If I bought her a soda one day, she'd buy me two the next day. There just aren't many people like her out there.

What I've run into, and using the REAL facts here....

Went to see Sherri in the hospital during her kidney operation, was the only friend that came to see her, even the guy she had a crush on didn't come to check on her...she later told me that she didn't want to start a relationship with me because she was going to start a relationship with that guy. He wouldn't even come see her in the hospital!

Sat with Molly for nearly 3 days while she had the flu...or stomach flu, or something, we never knew what it was...only that she was sick....did jokes for her, held her, wrote her that poem....only to have her 'break up' with me at McDonald's....HOW DO YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU AREN'T EVEN REALLY GOING WITH??? hahaha, but that's my life...

Gave Ashley 800 dollars to get some of her teeth fixed. She got in trouble with the law for something and left town, didn't even tell me about it or say bye or nothing. She shows up a few months later with some guy named James.

Bought Amanda a used car...little Honda, cost 2500. Was told I'd be paid back, but she wrecked it and never paid a cent back.

Helped Ellen get back in school to the tune of 7 THOUSAND dollars...she became a vet and moved to Ohio to work with her dad. I was only paid back about half of that ammount.

And I'm that guy that you think of when something is going on in your life that you want to talk to...I can't tell you how many times I would sit and listen while someone had their head on my shoulder crying for hours and hours.

All I can say is I've been sick, I've needed a shoulder to cry on, I've needed money. And I have rarely gotten it back in return.

It breaks you down after a while.

Why in the world am I spewing all of this???? I thought we were going to talk about poetry LOL.

I guess that comment of 'I'm interested in where these come from' really was like releasing a valve for me!!! I didn't even realize!

Thank you my friend for taking a closer, longer look at me.

12-03-2012, 01:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
slappyjenkins Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 214	^^I feel somehow all of sudden naked after communicating with you in these last few posts...but that is not neccessarily a bad thing. I've needed a vent for a long time. I think I hold people to the 'Cindy' standard and I don't know how to break it. I was able to tell her anything. I was able to be weak around her. If I bought her a soda one day, she'd buy me two the next day. There just aren't many people like her out there. What I've run into, and using the REAL facts here.... Went to see Sherri in the hospital during her kidney operation, was the only friend that came to see her, even the guy she had a crush on didn't come to check on her...she later told me that she didn't want to start a relationship with me because she was going to start a relationship with that guy. He wouldn't even come see her in the hospital! Sat with Molly for nearly 3 days while she had the flu...or stomach flu, or something, we never knew what it was...only that she was sick....did jokes for her, held her, wrote her that poem....only to have her 'break up' with me at McDonald's....HOW DO YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU AREN'T EVEN REALLY GOING WITH??? hahaha, but that's my life... Gave Ashley 800 dollars to get some of her teeth fixed. She got in trouble with the law for something and left town, didn't even tell me about it or say bye or nothing. She shows up a few months later with some guy named James. Bought Amanda a used car...little Honda, cost 2500. Was told I'd be paid back, but she wrecked it and never paid a cent back. Helped Ellen get back in school to the tune of 7 THOUSAND dollars...she became a vet and moved to Ohio to work with her dad. I was only paid back about half of that ammount. And I'm that guy that you think of when something is going on in your life that you want to talk to...I can't tell you how many times I would sit and listen while someone had their head on my shoulder crying for hours and hours. All I can say is I've been sick, I've needed a shoulder to cry on, I've needed money. And I have rarely gotten it back in return. It breaks you down after a while. Why in the world am I spewing all of this???? I thought we were going to talk about poetry LOL. I guess that comment of 'I'm interested in where these come from' really was like releasing a valve for me!!! I didn't even realize! Thank you my friend for taking a closer, longer look at me.