The Disney Channel Christmas Hits --- Various Artists --- 2007 (Disney)
God save me! Is there any depths ol' Walt won't stoop to? His reach extends beyond the grave, and while I guess you can't really blame him for things such as this, it was him that started Disney back in the twenties, and eventually moved towards world domination of the animated/cartoon movie market, a position they have stubbornly defended against all comers in recent years. This is, apparently, an album made by some of the brightest stars of the Disney Channel, but I'll be damned if I know more than a few of them! Course, I'm not exactly in the demographic the channel is aimed at, but still, you would think some of these names would be familiar...
(Hey, I warned ya!)
Hannah Montana, of course I know, and her alter-ego Miley Cyrus (or should that be the other way around?) sings my most hated of all Christmas songs, the godawful "Rockin' around the Chrismas tree", but really she's the only name that means anything to me. Oh wait: I've heard of The Jonas Brothers, and they here do an incongruously non-festive song (or so it seems to me) called "Girl of my dreams". But the others? Corbin Bleu? The Cheetah Girls? Kyle Massey? Jordan Pruitt? Never 'eard of yer! Even Miley's owl fella, Billy Ray, pops up (disturbingly adult among all these kids, hmm?) to hit us with "Run Rudolph run", and Ashley Tisdale (who?) does her version of Wham's "Last Christmas", but although there's "Greatest time of the year" and "Best time of year" there's no "The most wonderful time of the year", er, here.
The final nail in the coffin comes in Kyle Massey (who
are these people?) who unleashes "Jingle bells (A hip-hop carol") upon us, and I just press STOP. I suppose the kids'll enjoy it, maybe, but all I can say is. 'tweren't like this when I were a lad!
TRACKLISTING
1. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana)
2. Girl Of My Dreams (Jonas Brothers)
3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (The Cheetah Girls)
4. Last Christmas (Ashley Tisdale)
5. This Christmastime (Corbin Bleu)
6. Home For The Holidays (Album Version) (Keke Palmer)
7. Best Time of the Year (Album Version) (Christy Carlson Romano)
8. Run Rudolph Run (Album Version) (Billy Ray Cyrus)
9. Celebrate Love (Album Version) (Jordan Pruitt)
10. Let It Snow (Album Version) (Lucas Grabeel)
11. Jingle Bells (A Hip-Hop Carol) (Album Version) (Kyle Massey)
12. Greatest Time Of Year (Aly & AJ)
13. Christmas Vacation (Album Version) (Monique Coleman)