VEGANGELICA

You're welcome for my time and my input on your poems. I'm glad to know it was helpful. I do feel time is precious, and my favorite way to double its length and value is to share it with someone else.

Slappy, you're not as bad of a spellerer as you think. I think your spelling is very god.

Your brave fight with your foe, Grammar, whom you circle and antagonize with your "to who's" as Spelling looks on, reminds me of a song I wrote called "Common Ground," which amuses me now when I imagine it to be about you: http://www.musicbanter.com/song-writ...tml#post780516.

I don't think wanting to be remembered for something and possibly make some cash along with way is shallow. I agree with this quote by Mark Sullivan: "To find a career to which you are adapted by nature, and then to work hard at it, is about as near to a formula for success and happiness as the world provides. One of the fortunate aspects of this formula is that, granted the right career has been found, the hard work takes care of itself. Then hard work is not hard work at all."

Even if writing isn't a career, having your work valued enough to make some money would be very satisfying and useful, in case Candie shows up.

Knowing that you want to make money from your writing does change some of my recommendations for you, though.

I think you might best achieve your goal of earning money through writing if you were to connect with someone (such as a reputable literary agent Fiction Factor - What is a Literary Agent? ) in the writing world to help you promote your work to the appropriate publisher and audience. Self-published poetry *may* reach a sizeable audience, if you are lucky, but I think many fine writers simply never get much notice because the world is flooded with poetry and poets wanting attention.

Since readers have limited time and funds, you need your work to come to their attention in a dramatic way to lure them to want to buy it.

I think for publishing to be successful, a writer requires a critical mass of people who are saying, "Hey! His stuff is good!" to cause others to want to read it. This is the reason that editors, literary agents, publishing companies, and promotion are so important. People are social animals and their perception of what is "good" and of "value" is often influenced by what other people (appear to) think of the work. Self-publishing is like a lone wolf howling in the wild. People may or may not listen. Now if you have a whole pack of wolves behind you howling, you'll likely garner more attention.

Here's a good example of why I feel promotion is so valuable. You've seen those videos of expert violinists playing beautifully in subway stations for free? Below is a video of Joshua Bell playing in a subway station. People walk on by, apparently unmoved and unappreciative, not knowing they're listening to one of the world's top-notch violinists. The same violinist, the night before, was able to fill a huge theater with tickets selling for $100 a pop.

charles hugh smith-Crowds Ignore World Renowned Violinist: What Does This Say?

Joshua Bell (violin virtuoso) "self-publishes" his violin-playing in a subway station.
Doesn't go well. Draws a tiny audience. Gets just a little bit of money.


Stop and Hear the Music - YouTube


Another thought I had about your goal of making money is that as you prepare to publish, I think you should edit your work ruthlessly. Throw out beloved poems that mean something to you but don't move other people.

This is one reason a public forum can be helpful: it gives you a chance to see which of your works gain positive attention. I think you have to balance that harsh critique of your own work against your desire to express your full humanity. Once you are famous, some people will be interested in *everything* about you...but until then, they will read your writing because it provides them with something (probably entertainment).

Finally, about wanting to be remembered: I understand what you mean, but I feel people tend to think about themselves much more than they think about anyone else (unless they are in love) and so even those who are "remembered" don't figure much in the everyday life of those who remember them. For example, I admire and remember Einstein, but I hardly ever think about him.

Your mentioning this issue reminds me of the time I was remembered that mattered most to me. I worked for several years at a domestic violence shelter, and one evening I danced in the living room to amuse and entertain a little girl who was staying at the shelter with her mom. A couple years later, the mother and I happened to meet by accident in public. She told me that her little girl still remembered the shelter because of that "nice, pretty woman who danced for her so beautifully."

I thought to myself, what a lovely way to be remembered: a child goes to a domestic violence shelter and of all the horrible things she might have remembered about that time, instead she has a happy memory of someone dancing for her...and that someone was me.

If any poem or song I wrote benefited another person like my dancing did for that little girl, then this would be wonderful and humbling. A real privilege that some aspect of myself affected a person's private life positively. Knowing that I had affected people's lives for the better would be the best part of being famous.

The second best part of being famous would be the revenge factor: I could go up to people who dissed me in high school or dismissed my worth at other times in life, and I could say, "Ha ha!" <-- How's THAT for shallow!

I'm very sorry your friend died so needlessly and so avoidably...avoidably, if only she hadn't been addicted to alcohol. The problem is that she wasn't in control. Her addiction was.

Slappyjenkins, I feel there is nothing you could have done to stop your friend from feeding her addiction unless she was ready to stop herself...which probably requires first hitting rock bottom (losing job, family, friends, and health), if the addicted person doesn't die first.

I'm also sorry you were put in that horrible position of wanting to help your friend when staying close to her might have meant you were enabling her to drink (by making it easier for her not to face the consequences), and you would have had to suffer through watching her descent, which could be unbearable.

I'm thinking now of a depressing movie, "Leaving Las Vegas," that deals with that issue of leaving vs. staying with an alcoholic friend who lives only to drink. Another very good movie about alcoholism is "Days of Wine and Roses." I recommend this movie if you haven't seen it yet, Slappy, because it shows someone having to make that hard choice you did.

I can understand your feeling of guilt, especially since your friend said that she didn't want to lose you...but you did a beautiful thing, which was tell her your honest feelings (you couldn't be around her if she was drinking). Accepting someone's drinking is *not* going to make that person get better. Also, not being able to be around her when she was drinking didn't mean you didn't care about her.

I've very sorry that she died and that you lost your friend.

* * *

Thank you so much for your critique of my song lyrics for "Free"!

I agree with you about the second stanza not being as strong as the others. Like I mentioned in your thread, I think perhaps this is due to that stanza's lack of imagery.

Your response to my use of the metaphor "wingless" interested me. Metaphors *do* require an extra step of thought to make the connection between the words and their meaning. This is one reason that I have avoided obvious metaphors in most of my songs: I want the songs to be immediately understandable. Sometimes I think that lack of depth makes them too dull.

I did choose "stand wingless with me" to refer to my wish that the friend would no longer be high. I also picked "wingless" because "wings" is slang for heroin. ("Stand naked with me" had already been used in someone else's song. It turns out I liked "wingless" better anyway.) I tried to saturate the song with drug slang and references to appease my love of literary depth but still leave the meaning of the lyrics clear: "(great) bear (fentanyl), glass (alcohol & heroin), breathe, inhale, line (cocaine), drag, use."

Thank you again for your critique! I will get to your final post later.

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