Slayer's come up 3 times in recent conversations, and its time I ask that question I've been burning to discuss, regarding the people I have to psychoanalyze.
1. "Slayer /end of thread"
This was a post made on a Facebook Status. The status said "Ugh, its way to early fo ****ing Marron 5." It was presumably made at a coffee shop or while listening to Pandora. And its not out of character, the woman who posted it is is more into Janis Joplin and Joanie Mitchell.
The tradiational responses followed "Oh it must be Always O'clock." A laugh riot Facebookers are. But then, at the bottom of the list of responses sat "Slayer /end of thread."
Now as Facebook works, this was the last post because no one wnated to discuss it more. I'm not going to try and figure out if this post had something to do with it, but it could be - slayer seems to be a giant redflag is social conversations. Not because of what the band is, but because of how its invoked.
Slayer seems to be the universal antidote to things slayer fans don't like. OH Maroon 5? I prefer slayer. I'm playing Christmas music to celebrate the season? Oh really, I'm celebrating the season by playing "Dead Skin Mask." Hooray, Halloween is here! Halloween is here everyday when you listen to Slayer. Hey Kim, congrats on your Engagement. Yes, congrats Kim, I've bought for you a signed/framed poster of Slayer's 1991 tour as a gift for this monumental life change.
Slayer seems to be how disaffected people act in the world. Like some lucky rabbits foot clung to in the Valley of the Shadow of Life, Slayer provides an "everythings ****ty, brutal, and raw" in a world of Starbucks commericals, Hallmark Cards, and your grandmother pinching your cheeks.
Why is she pinching your cheeks? Doesn't she know you're an iPod away from becoming a Viking Demon on the Battle Fields of Hell?
2. "Well, lets compare the most recent Slayer album with Reign in Blood"
This comment came from a recent bar patron I started talking to about the new Batman Films. How did we get from Batman to Slayer? Because to a Slayer fan, everything is only 2 degrees removed. And to say degrees is a bit of a misnomber. Its more like one degree, because Slayer is everything. And you're always talking about things.
He was saying Bane (from the final of the new Batman films) was a terrbile character. Then I, trying to lighten the mood, said "well at worst, he's much better than the Bane from Batman & Robin."
(As an aside, you can always tell who's emotionally damaged by their response to a mood-lightener. My comment should have been a "no ****" thing we could all agree on, instead, this man who has something to prove says the following")
"Well you cheapen your own argument by saying that. I mean, thats like saying the New Slayer Album is better than the new Justin Beiber."
The irony here is so cosmic my heart almost collapses on itself. "What I'm trying to do is compare the newest slayer album with Reign in Blood."
You can imagine the rest. From there I told him I was fascinated with Bane's voice and cadence, his timbre and his accent. He told me I sounded like a wonky English Professor and went back to coloring his drawings in his moleskin, festooned in his loose-fitting hoodie in a bar built for the after ork crowd.
And I make the decription to point another attribute out about the Slayer crowd. Its not about having your aesthetic interests, its about evangelising. Why was this disgruntled misanthrope sitting among neckties and cocktail dresses, aggresively going after peopels interests; of those willing to give him a break and speak with him. Slayer it would seem ordained him to go forth and spread the anger.
3.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russki
slayer - raining blood
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As you can see, this one came from here. And if you click the link button in the quote, you can also see this has little to do with the thread to date. This was also this persons first post on the boards. His first post, and his first and only word in the thread was "slayer."
The thread had to be requested to be unlocked. Everyone to date was commenting on the "Rap is rubbish, but rap with metal is awesome." And frankly, the OP came from a Slipknot fan who's not that different than Slayer. But Slipknot lacks Slayer's longevity and iconic stature as the perrenial "Anti" that Slayer has occupied since somewhere back in the 1980's.
So there it is, Slayers music I enjoy. But the fan base has some obsessive and Freudian sexual fascination with the band that seems to not only occupy their rapt attention, but also plugs in, like a virus to a healthy cell; like the alien broodling to its host body, to fill and occupy the emotional voids these people can't handle.
Have trouble talking to women? Thats ok, you're just too brutal for them.
Can't find a decent job? Its not the piercings in your face, its that you were meant to slay the weak in this life, keep drawing in your basement. Some day it will happen.
Tired of not looking like a viking? Listen to more Slayer, it will make your beard grow faster and you're look more muscular in less time.
Long story short: **** Slayer. They're rotting your miserable brain.
Edit:
This no **** happened after I went to post something in the MPG.
