Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermione
Well in my opinion, everyone is born one or the other, but it goes against traditional gender norms to be a Dominant female or submissive male, so it's difficult to figure out what your position is if it's not the norm. Dominant females are highly fetishised, but to be submissive is to be seen as being feminine and for a male, that's like the biggest insult. Also, it's heavily believed in the scene that dominant females are only pretending and that ALL women are really submissive, they just "need the right man."
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i just want to argue a bit with the "born this way" thing... i've been in way too many serious relationships. 8 or 9 at least.... this means that i've had the opportunity to become very comfortable (much different than confident) with quite a few women. and i've found that over time, the sexiest thing in the world for both sexes within a truly loving framework is to be able to act on the impulse to be one or the other at any given time, sometimes switching in the same "session". i've been incredibly submissive and incredibly dominant with several woman, who, when they see this, or when they are ok with it, generally tend to give up the idea of being one way or the other, and see that being open to change is much more organic. given, i also think that the feminine side of a man is beautiful and often overlooked, so i don't feel like i'm forfeiting any sense of being a man when submitting. i just think it's much more fun and much more real to be in a room with two people that put these sorts of definitions on the shelf and do what feels right at the moment. being constantly dominant would bore the hell out of me. actually, a woman i was with for three years took no dominant effort at all for the entirety of our relationship... this was our downfall. i need a lady that knows she can jump me if she damn well pleases.
edit: and knows that (unless something is wrong) i'm probably going to jump her whenever i damn well please too.
