BREAKING NEWS
Villa in search of equal opponents
After the recent run of form, we understand that Aston Villa has been trying to organise a football match against a team they might draw, and possibly even win against.
"The lads just need a pick me up, a game to remind them what it feels like to not lose" Lambert offered at a recent press conference. However, so far they have had trouble finding suitable opponents, Lambert ruled out local sunday pub teams, reportedly due to the fear that jeers and mocking laughter could devastate the villa team after the inevitable loss.
A friendly was finally organised against key stage 4 boys of St Benedicts School, after being laughed off by key stage 5. "We'll try to go easy on them" remarked the Daniel, 15, "Afterall, there's not much bragging rights in beating them is there?".
P.E teacher,Mr. Scott, added "if not, they can always play the girls, but it'll probably have to be KS 3, since they tend to develop earlier than boys".
Lambert has reportedly doubled the Villa training efforts and offered a whole 5 minutes with 3 high class prostitutes to whoever scores a villa goal, and a day out at pizza hut if they manage a clean sheet.
|