(Note: as I explained in the first feature in this series, many of you may think the albums I feature here are good, or even great. Some of you may have them in your collection. Hell, some of them may now be in MY collection! But I'm approaching this from the standpoint of my teenage self, when I was into metal and rock and really had no time for pop music. Back then, these are the albums I would have never considered listening to, never mind buying. Now, I want to look at them in a little depth and see if they are as bad as I had made them out to be, thirty or so years ago. Please don't take offence; this is just one person's view, and a naive, somewhat conceited one at that, considering how little I actually knew about music at the time.)
All the above notwithstanding, I always hated the Pet Shop Boys. There was something about them that just seemed the antithesis to a rock band --- a rock band being far from what they were of course --- and they fitted in with the glut of what one of my workmates caustically termed "Puff bands": the likes of Thompson Twins, Fiction Factory, A Flock of Seagulls (though I liked them), Human League and Dead or Alive. Bands who seemed to have little or no soul in their music, whose output did not excite or interest me and who, rather annoyingly to the young teenage me, were storming the charts every time they released a single or album, while my own favourite bands were lucky to appear once on "Top of the Pops". Not that I wanted to see Maiden or Marillion or Blackfoot or Genesis in the charts: to me, at the time, the charts were the worst place you could be. They meant you had most likely written something that was a "sellout", that you had turned from your core fanbase and were busy pandering to the masses. I know, I know: stupid, but when we're young...
But my brother loved Pet Shop Boys, and bought all their albums. And he was not the type to listen, as I did, secluded in my bedroom with headphones on, happy to have my music to myself. No. He kept trying to get me into the band. But the more I heard --- mostly if not exclusvely through the charts --- the more I hated them. When this album came out I pointed to the cover and say AH! AH! Look! They're not even interested in their music! Tennant is YAWNING! Oh dear...
Anyway, the music of PSB has never spoken to me, though like probably most people of my age I have the melody for songs like "West end girls", "Left to my own devices", "Opportunities" and a dozen others ingrained on my consciousness from overplay on the radio and television. Doesn't mean I like them, or have come to like them, but in total fairness I have to admit I have never once listened to an album by these guys all the way through. And that therefore is what I intend to do in this section. Trying to look at the album with a dispassionate eye, I'm going to review it and see if I can discover if I've been missing out on great music (or even good music) all these years, or if I was right in the first place to give Pet Shop Boys a wide berth.
Actually --- Pet Shop Boys --- 1987 (Parlophone)
The first time I heard Neil Tennant sing I knew I had heard that voice before. In fact, when "West end girls" hit the charts I was convinced it was ... Al Stewart. Even now, I find it hard to tell the difference. I've thrown in an Al Stewart song below so you can decide if I'm raving mad or not, but for me the two are virtually inseparable, other than by time of course: Stewart had all his big hits in the 70s while PSB only got going a decade later. At any rate, in case you don't know, Pet Shop Boys are a duo, consisting of the aforementioned Tennant and keyboard player Chris Lowe. Tennant does all the lead vocals, also plays keyboards and some guitar, though most of their music is digitally sequenced and played back onstage via banks of computers hooked to synthesisers. They seem to profess a lack of interest in and dislike of rock music, making their own sound very electronic, dancy, new-wave and club-orientated. This is another reason why I personally have no time for their music: any band who says they don't like rock music has, in my opinion, no business being a band.
But to the album, which became one of their most successful and spawned four top ten singles, taking them to number 2 in the UK albums charts and outside the top 20 in the USA. This is an increase in popularity for them on their debut, "Please", which hit number 3 in the UK, but a major failure for them in the US, where the debut had kicked in at number 7. Though they would continue to do very well on this side of the water, with most if not all of their albums reaching the top 5, the USA seems done with them. After an initial flurry of interest for "Please", which pushed it into the top ten there, there's been a steady decrease in chart positions over the years, with a small amount of ground being made up on the last two albums, but nothing like the success they would have wanted to have. Hey, maybe you Americans have better taste than us after all!
A big rolling drumbeat, a piano
glissando straight out of ABBA's "Dancing queen" and then we're into bongo-type beats and a trance-y rhythm with the sounds of traffic, crickets and then Neil Tennant's voice basically speaks the opening lines before adding a little musicality into his voice. Chris Lowe's synths swell now in the background and "One more chance" is underway, lots of little bits of synthage going on as various sequenced parts take their turn fitting in, and a funky bassline merges with the conga percussion. The chorus brings at least some sort of tune, with keys sounding a little like strings in places, then halfway through it appears to just repeat, with a not-too-bad synthy bridge before it goes back to the chorus. Very dancy, very electronica, very upbeat and very Pet Shop Boys. Way too long though at five and a half minutes, but then, that's dance music's very
raison d'etre, isn't it? Extended mixes, remixes, and so on.
The next one I know, as it was a hit and features the vocals of fifties legend Dusty Springfield --- indeed, her presence on the song sparked something of a mini-revival in her career. "What have I done to deserve this" is another dancy tune, perhaps more in the Human League/ Giorgio Moroder style than the previous, and I do have to say that the professional vox of Springfield lend the tune a sense of class it would possibly never have otherwise. Tennant does his (to me) annoying usual on this: talking his vocal part --- not all the time, but a lot of it. Matching Dusty's style of music it's quite soulful and relaxed in places, and Lowe's keyboards do a good job. Touches of the great Annie Lennox in there too. "Shopping" starts off on a big bassy synth, then handclap beats as it takes a new-wave turn, quite Depeche Mode or even New Order in feel, tinges of Visage also discernable buried somewhere in the melody. Vocoders abound (how I hate them) and big bright bubbly synths, and it's a little slower than the other tracks to date.
As vacuous as this song is, "Rent", one of the four hit singles, has at least something to say, speaking about the relationship between a toyboy/kept woman or man (PSB apparently keep their lyrical content deliberately vague in terms of gender so that they can't be accused of promoting a pro-gay agenda) and it's pleasant enough. Nice synth lines, but hell, what else can you say about this band? Everything's driven on keys and sequenced sections. They say Tennant plays occasional guitar, but I ain't heard it yet. Again, I find this song, after the initial idea is expounded, just to keep repeating itself, and it seems to be a failing common to a lot of their songs. Nice little trumpeting synth at the end, then we're into "Hit music". With an almost Art of Noise intro on the synthesiser, it has a nice bassy synthline going through it also, and Tennant is on form on the vocals. Nice unexpectedly slow, langourous instrumental ending too.
For some odd reason, Ennio Moricone is credited as helping to compose "It couldn't happen here", I really don't know why, although the song does have a very dramatic, cinematic atmosphere and you could see it being used as a soundtrack --- which of course it was: they released a film themselves with this title. It's quite progressive rock in a weird way, swirling synths, slow pounding drums and a full orchestra. I must admit I like this, the first track on the album yet that I have expressed any preference for. Pity this sort of music was in the minority for the Pet Shop Boys. Very effective, quite moving in its own way. Then there's the big hit single, "It's a sin", which bops along nicely and has some nice trumpeting keyboards, is quite catchy and was a song you just couldn't avoid when it was in the charts. Kind of hits out at the Church as an institution I think, though perhaps a little more subtly than it could have done. There's certainly a similarity in the way the song is constructed to Cat Stevens' "Wild world", so much so that Jonathan King took them to court over it, claiming they copied the then-retired singer's hit song from the seventies, but he lost the case.
A little more restrained, but still using samples and vocoders, "I want to wake up" has touches of Kylie in it, a driving beat and banks of synthesisers as ever; we're three tracks from the end and I have yet to hear anything I could recognise as a guitar. There is something familiar about the melody on this song, though for the life of me I can't place it. That takes us to their last single released off the album, "Heart". With an annoying sampled voice synth opening, it's a slower song than the last one, and was another to get to the top for the Pet Shop Boys. That driving bass is there as is the handclap percussion, and no doubt it went down well in the clubs, but not my sort of thing at all. A description that could be applied to pretty much all of this album really: no surprise there. There's a completely pointless false ending about ten seconds before the end --- why? Who knows? The album then closes on "King's Cross", a slow, moody ballad with bassy synth and swirling synth and, well, synths all over the place. For what it is it's quite nice, restrained and atmospheric with a hint of ambient about it, and a better closer than I might have expected.
TRACKLISTING
1. One more chance
2. What have I done to deserve this
3. Shopping
4. Rent
5. Hit music
6. It couldn't happen here
7. It's a sin
8. I want to wake up
9. Heart
10. King's Cross
There were, and continue to be, many things about Pet Shop Boys that don't sit well with me. To my mind, they were never a band, just a money-making machine that reached its goal through the medium of music. You could say that this could apply to any band, and at its heart yes that may be true, but I would argue that primarily most bands play to have their music heard and appreciated, and if that makes money then all the better. Of course, everyone has to support themselves and it'd be a true idiot that played and didn't want to get paid for their performances, but in the case of PSB it seems to be the be-all and end-all of their intentions. Even their fans, when they debate apparently argue over which track on the new album is likely to be the biggest hit single, and thereby bring in the most revenue to the band. Never mind the quality, seems to be the mantra, how much is it going to make? Seems like all their fans may as well be accountants for all the interest they have in the songs actually being good, just listenable or well-written.
Although this may be anecdotal, I do recall hearing once that Neil Tennant, while working for UK pop rag "Smash hits" opined that all these bands he was reviewing and interviewing weren't so special, that he didn't see how hard it could be to write a pop song, and that given the chance he could do as well, or better. Then he had the opportunity to form PSB and away they went. Their popularity initiallly seemed based on their almost static performances: Lowe would stand behind the keyboard barely moving (not surprising as we now know most of their music was sequenced and probably just took a push of a button or a flick of a mouse to playback) and Tennant stood around looking bored and singing mostly in a monotone with a pained scowl on his face. Oh yeah: rock and roll.
This attitude to music has never gone down well in my book. A band should be excited about, or at least interested in their music, but Pet Shop Boys never seemed to be. Their only real interest ever appeared to be how much money they could make, perhaps enshrined in their 1986 hit "Opportunities (Let's make lots of money)" rather than how they could create the best music they were capable of.
No, after listening to this, and being reminded of how much I pretty much despised the Pet Shop Boys and all they stood for, I look upon "Actually" no more kindly now than I did when my brother was trying to force-feed me this pretentious, vacuous, empty souless pap. If you like it, fair enough, but my own personal musical tastes are never going to slip sufficiently that I would be tempted to buy any of the albums from this poseur duo.
Actually: a true example of an album from Hell.