Paul Smeenus

The original lineup of Faith No More featured vocalist Chuck Mosely. To be honest, none of the songs I've heard from the 2 albums of that era were *poor*, they kinda rocked, but they weren't noteworthy either. They just didn't grab me and in fact if one of those songs were to be played in my presence quite frankly I would not be aware that I was listening to FNM.

Evidently, CM was difficult to get along with. I don't know the entire story, but I'm of the impression that a combination of personality conflict and artistic differences are what led to the entire band's decision to fire Chuck during the recording of their third album.

Enter San Francisco vocalist Mike Patton. Patton was fronting the Bay-Area Prog-Metal band Mr. Bungle at that time (which not only has a Portland connection, but a Paul Smeenus connection as well. One of the members of a very early version of Mr. Bungle was drummer Hans Wagner, who was drumming for the Bungle-like Portland band Village Idiot in 1992 and was part of the bunch of lunatics I was hanging with back then, they're the degenerates that gave me this name. Hans went on to drum for Sweaty Nipples, also friends of mine. I don't know what Hans is doing now but we were friends in the early-mid 1990's). Patton had given FNM a demo tape and they were blown away. He was rushed into the studio to complete what would become "The Real Thing".

There is some good stuff on "The Real Thing", "Surprise! You're Dead!" in particular, but it suffers to some degree from the way it came to be. Certainly the Chuck Mosely fans hated it. But from "The Real Thing" emerged a fecking MONSTER hit. "Epic", and it's video with the infamous flopping fish and silent exploding piano in it's conclusion, fell into power rotation on MTV, and Faith No More became a household name. To this day, nearly anyone that's not familiar with FNM would instantly recognize "Epic." Those of us that were involved in the hard rock community at that time were ambivalent about "The Real Thing", though. I for one certainly saw *some* good in it, but I definitely didn't care to hear "Epic" ever again and for the most part my musical interests were elsewhere at the time.

Then, in 1992, EVERYBODY would become just utterly astonished, astounded & completely blown the feck away by what came out next. "Angel Dust" was so beyond anything they'd ever done, just leaving "The Real Thing" in it's, well...dust. Nothing we had heard on any album prior had prepared us for this. This was like comparing Veal Parmigiana to spaghetti-ohs.

The album opens with "Land Of Sunshine". Holy crap, 2 minutes into this had already blown all of "The Real Thing" and the entire Chuck Mosely era out of the effing water. "Sing, and Rejoice! Sing, and Rejoice! (Here's how to order...)"...

Nothing lets up at all with "Caffeine". There is a maniacal, twisted desperate energy here that drives the rock even harder. It's not just a beat, it's not just guitars, it's controlled insanity. It's hard to believe this is even the same band as just 2 years prior. Next is "Midlife Crisis" Patton applies so many vocal styles here it's hard to believe it's all the same guy.The panic is pulled back a little here but not the drive.

Then comes the without-a-doubt WTF moment on "Angel Dust"

"RV" opens with a quirky piano, then just gets weirder. Patton mumbles behind this strange, comical melody of guitar (for once not on overdrive) bass, piano and subtle drumming. It's almost impossible to tell what he's saying without reading the lyrics, once you do get it though it's clear that Patton has assumed the character of a trailer-trash knuckle-dragging pot-belly beer-swilling wife & kids beating lout. Then the chorus:

"I Hate You (talking to myself)
Everybody's staring at me
I'm only bleeding"

...And you begin to realize this is seriously effed-up shiz. I won't speculate as to what inspired "RV" but sadly that is the kind of parent way too many kids have to deal with. Consider the concluding lyric

"I think it's time I had a talk with my kids
I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me
You ain't never gonna amount to nothin'"

Then, the desperate, lunatic insanity is taken beyond anyplace it had been before, "Smaller and Smaller". As great as this album is, front to back, this is maybe my favorite song. There are passages that must have forty tracks of various sounds in the breaks, And they keep coming back SMALLER and SMALLER and SMALLER. The intensity of it could cut a fecking diamond.

The album needs a break at that point, there being nowhere else to go after the maniacal "Smaller and Smaller". That doesn't mean it can't rock, tho, "Everything's Ruined" would have been the "Smaller And Smaller" for almost any other band, it is a testament to what a sick brilliant album "Angel Dust" is that I can describe "Everything's Ruined" as a come-down moment. "Everything's Ruined" is still just a godly fecking song.

Oh cripes, here we go again. "Malpractice" is more Patton insanity. Back in 1992 when "Angel Dust" came out, as we 1st listened, by this time we were just shaking our collective heads in disbelief, that this deep into this album they were STILL pulling these rabbits outta their hats.

Then comes another one, Kindergarten is effing huge. A big thick slab of heavy rock, again by this time in '92 we were just slack-jawed that this insane music just kept coming and coming from a band we had previously considered kinda silly. Not anymore...

Then in an unbelievable lunatic twist, Mike Patton takes us to the bath houses of San Francisco.

A gigantic pipe organ sound just blows up the CD, then drums bass and guitar kick in a hard driving beat, Then Patton belts out the greatest anthem to gay sex ever recorded. The unforgettable chorus is done cheerleader style, I can visualize the girls in a line with pom-poms & little skirts cheering on as these guys suck and swallow suck and swallow and suck...

"Be Aggressive - Be-ee Aggressive"
"B-E A-G-G R-E-S-S-I-V-E"

with the accomanying "I'll Swallooowww"

I've never heard any song quite like "Be Aggressive". At all. Ever.

Once again the album needs a bit of a break. "A small Victory" fills nicely. Like every song on "Angel dust (and the 2 albums that followed) it's a good song, even kinda dancey, the intesity is taken down a few notches from the demented "Be Aggressive" but it's still in attack mode with some pretty serious guitar crunch.

"Crack Hitler" picks the dementia factor right back up, at this point back in '92 we were convinced we were seeing God, and God was one intensely crazy mother****er. Patton uses five or six different vocal inflections in the bridge alone.

Oh, all that happens then is "J*zzobler", the depravity of this one might even outdo "Smaller And Smaller". The "chorus" of this one almost makes me wanna pummel my head through a frickin' wall. Again, back in '92 (we used to hang out at a duplex in deep SE Portland) when this one ended, with it's monster organ chords and synth vocal choir, we were toast. We had just witnessed the single greatest musical transformation I know of, from the somewhat silly "Real Thing" to this twisted effed-up masterpiece. So ends "Angel Dust".

Or so we thought. All of a sudden, the intro to the Theme from "Midnight Cowboy" started piping out the speakers, This is the most brilliant of all "hidden tracks" in that it's hidden in plain sight. It's clearly listed in the tracks it's numbered, it's not hidden at all. But when you listen to "Angel Dust" the effect is such that the final twisted organ notes of "J*zzobler" tail off the album has ended, then suddenly the hidden track is playing. There's one other amazing thing about "Midnight Cowboy". If, for example, you have an iPod on shuffle and "Midnight Cowboy" comes up, it's just "Midnight Cowboy", no big whoop. But when played sequentially on "Angel Dust" at the end of this incredible album, the effect is haunting, like a dirge, or exit music to an insane film. Which, I guess it almost is.