Okay, let's be fair about this. I went to the Batlord's house. I sneaked in while he was headbanging away to Suffocation or some other noisy nonsense. I wired up his super-powered "Inconsiderate Bastard" (TM) Mark VI's to some C4 and slipped his favourite High On Fire album into his CD player. I retreated to a safe distance and watched through my high-powered binoculars. Sure enough after a little while the strains of "Fury whip" burst across the neighbourhood, scaring mean dogs and stopping more than one pacemaker, then almost immediately there was a loud bang and a flash and when the smoke cleared there was nothing but a large crater where his house used to stand.
Ah, but then...
Out of the smoke, coughing and spluttering, a cartoon-like figure emerges, blackened beyond recognition and with his hair spiky from the blast, reeling about and still clutching his favourite headphones, and says "Man! Whatever that **** I smoked was, I want MORE! THAT was ****in BITCHIN!" Then he turns around, sees his house was gone, shrugs and says "**** it, I hated that ****hole anyway! Time to visit Devin Townsend and go on another bitchin' time-travellin' adventure!" And he staggers off into the smoky distance. Jesus! Is the guy the Metal Terminator or what? Guess you really
can't kill a True Metalhead!
But --- and this is the important part --- I tried, as the destruction of his entire block will attest to. So come on Gods of Metal! Cut me a break! Let me this time, for once, come across a band I can actually talk about and review. I've been searching for months now and the last proper band I got was Sauron: everything else has been either unsigned or disbanded, or else so unknown that they don't even have a single YouTube video, let alone an album. With all the good metal out there, surely I must be due to happen across a proper band on my random travels? Huh? Huh?
Nervously I push the "Random Band" button, like someone fearing an electric shock, wait a moment and....
Oh for the love of Satan! Why me? WHY ME? ANOTHER unsigned band, but not only that, these guys are broken up, too! Sigh!
But wait, there may be some hope. I see they did actually get to release one album before splitting. Is it available? Let's go a-huntin'... Oh great! There are two other bands who both use this name, both metal, both in the US --- and both still playing apparently. Well, with confusion like that in the air it's highly unlikely I'm going to happen across the proper one here, and as all three bands seem to use a pretty similar logo... ah hell, let's just chalk this up as another fail and move on.
No, that's not the sound of me headbanging! Well, sort of, but I'm actually banging my head against the wall in frustration! What come up next is a band from Slovakia (yeah) who have two demos (great), one released in the year they formed, 2005 and the next the following year. So, seven years later, no album guys eh? Let's see if you got onto YouTube even...
Well, surprisingly, they do. So let's do them for now. They hail apparently from Bardejov in Slovakia (no I don't know where it is, nor do I care) and have as I say but two demos to their name, the second rushed out presumably to capitalise on the, um, failure of the first. Since that last demo, 2006, nothing has been heard from them yet good ol'
Encyclopaedia Metallum has them listed as "active", and who am I to argue? What is interesting, quite funny in fact is that if you go to the first demo, from which the below YouTube comes, and click "lineup" it says "band members: none". First in my experience; an album made by nobody. Backtracking though I do come across notes on two members, each of whom are so poor it would seem that they can only afford one name each. Ah, the fall of Communism hit us all hard, did it not?
FYI the lead (only) guitarist and so-called vocalist is known as Jarldrahn, while his mate on bass prefers to be called Svantovith. Indeed. Luckily I can drill down further into their biogs and unearth the priceless information that they are both male. You don't say. Of course, as you might expect, Legion Obscure (in case you couldn't make out the intricate logo, that's what they're called) are a death/black metal band. Would you seriously expect me to come across any other type in my random searches? Their lyrics concern barbarism, domination and prophetic visions, apparently, though not prophetic enough to see they weren't going to get anywhere with this trash, it would seem. However it does seem to have prophesied that they would remain obscure, so maybe there is something in that...
This is the video, the song taken from their first demo released in 2005 and entitled "Synovia Slovanskej Zeme" --- it's the title track! I'm a little confused as the track starts off with the sound of a wolf howling, and the neighbour's dog is also barking outside, though to be honest I'd rather listen to an album by him than a full song from these guys! I'm not hearing any vocals, unless they're pitched outside the realm of human hearing, though there is some sort of gutteral growling going on that I can hear now; totally drowned out by the mad guitar. There's someone playing drums too, though they're not mentioned in the entry. Oh well.
That was fun. So let's give it another go and see if we can find a proper band to review, shall we? Must we? Yes, I fear we must.
This, in case you haven't already noticed over the last few months, is really beginning to get on my nerves! ANOTHER unsigned band, split up, with a demo, and EP and a "split"(?) to their name. They come from the good old US of A and seem to have been active, if that's the word, from 1995-1996. Oh yeah, they're death/thrash metal. Or were. Probably all work as bank clerks now. Let's see if they've left anything behind to mark their passing...
Ooh! Apparently they have. From their first demo, released in 1995, which had the rather grandiose title of "Keep your dogma out of your de-kathoder" --- not a clue what that means --- this is called "Two dogs in a race (Murder song)"...
Yeah. After that I feel like committing murder! Oh okay, for those who simply must know, Kathode were the inappropriately-named Eric Prozac on guitar, Andrew W.K on drums and vocals and Jeff Rice on vocals, with two other guys, Mike Williams and the poor Shawn, who like the boys from Slovakia above seems to be able to afford one name. These two are shown as "unknown", so I couldn't tell you what they did in the band or how they contributed, but it's a safe bet they didn't play harpsichord or cello! Movin' on...
On my last effort this time out, it seems I may actually have hit paydirt. This band are signed, have albums and are still alive! Yay! Mind you, they're shown as playing "pagan black metal". Boo. At any rate, since they have albums and it would be hoped they would be available in some shape, let's go the whole hog on them.
Just before I get to that, a quick comment. Yes they appear to have material available but being a tight-fisted old git I don't want to pay, so I tried to download a torrent of their discography. Rather appropriately, my torrent client shows a black spot, which usually means the torrent is not going to download for me. And checking back I see that yes, I have a "getaddrinfo failed" message, so so much for that. They seem to have a good few YouTubes though so I won't be starved of material for them, but good or bad I'd still rather have a full album to review. Not that I'm shelling out eighty cents for one, you understand, but as my unofficial family motto says,
"Sic gratis mea" --- if it's for free, it's for me --- so I'll continue with a few more torrents before I give up. Meanwhile, here is some music...
Better yet, here is the bio of the band.
Band name: Kampfar
Nationality: Norwegian (Fredrikstad)
Subgenre: Pagan Black Metal
Born: Officially 1994 but really 2003 (see below)
Status: Active
Albums: Mellom skogkledde aaser (1997) Fra underverdenen (1999) Kvass (2006) Heimgang (2008) Mare (2011)
Live albums: None
Collections/Anthologies/Boxsets: None
Lineup: Dolk (Vocals)
F
Ask (Drums, vocals)
Ole (Guitar)
Jon (Bass)
F
Seems that the band began life in 1994 but after releasing two albums they split up, and it wasn't till vocalist Dolk (why can't these people afford a second name? Something must be done!) joined another band and met Jon that they resurrected Kampfar in 2003, thus explaining the large hiatus between their second and third albums. One thing I read about them that I do like is that their music is inspired by my favourite of all mythologies, Norse. But then you'd expect that, considering where they hail from. I have no illusions though that I'll be hearing anything like Manowar or Virgin Steele here: black metal is not my thing and I'm not expecting to particularly enjoy this, just survive it. Although...
Reading an interview with Dolk he seems to categorise and describe Kampfar as more "Norse pagan folklore metal", so perhaps it won't be as bad as I had feared. Kampfar apparently is an ancient battlecry warriors used to shout before plunging into the fray, and roughly translates to evoking the king of the Norse gods, Odin or Wotan or Woden. Seems like the band sing in their own native tongue, so like my review of Tyr's albums this may not be too easy, but sure we'll give it a go. At least there are albums to choose from. Speaking of which, how is my download doing --- Gaah! Failed again! Well, let's get a sense of them via the You of Tubes...
Hmm. I'm disappointed to hear Dolk is a growler/screamer, because I have to say the music behind him is not at all bad and I think I could get into it, but listening to a full album of this may be difficult. I'm also faced with the problem of not being at the moment able to download anything from them, and though I could buy one album to review I'd rather not now that I hear his voice. I mean, eighty cents is eighty cents in these hard financial times, ya know? I should partner up with the Batlord on this really: I'm sure he'd be able to PM me some albums. Then again, his setup as he says is really basic so the chances of that are actually nil. Plus he's currently off waving parts of his body at dinosaurs or something, or calling Tomas de Torquemada a puff. Maybe Unknown Soldier? Ah hell let's just go for it: sod the expense!
Oh wait just one tension-popping moment! Grooveshark has just come to my rescue! There's a full album --- yoink! And it hasnt cost me a cent, red or otherwise!
Fra Underverdenen --- Kampfar --- 1997 (Napalm)
Okay, so the other good thing about this is that the album only has six tracks, so it shouldn't take too long to review. It's their second, and the one that led to the hiatus, so I think on this you just get Dolk and recently-departed (from the band, not this Earth!) Thomas. Yeah, that's it: Dolk adds drumming to his vocal, er, talents and Thomas handles guitar and bass. I could hazard a really bad guess at what the title of the album means --- lady of the forest? --- maybe not, don't know, but there is at least one of their only two, so far, songs in English on this album, so that will be a help.
I must say I'm surprised at the pastoral guitar opening of "I Ondskapens Kunst", but then Dolk roars and the song takes off, on sharp guitar and pounding drums. Nevertheless, it's no heavier than any other metal song I've heard to date, and without the screaming of the mainman I could probably enjoy it. Yeah. It just kicked up into about ninetieth gear and Dolk in addition to growling all over the place Dolk is pounding the drums like a man on a mission. Oh dear. The guitar work from Thomas is pretty sublime though, even at this speed. It certainly rocks along, and if any song could be said to take you completely by surprise in a sudden change, this is it. It's quite long at just over seven minutes, though not the longest on the album. It's got a real catchiness about it and were it not for the annoying vocals as I say I could probably enjoy this. More than halfway through it again slows down and what sounds like piano but certainly isn't comes through before Dolk slams his foot back down on the accelerator and off we go, charging into a wall of sound.
There's no doubting the prowess of Thomas on the guitar though, and he must surely be a major loss to the band, having parted company with them in 2010. Next up is another seven-minuter, "Troll, Død Og Trolldom", which starts off like something out of "Lord of the Rings" with what I am reliably informed is a didgeridoo (you know, that thing Rolf Harris used) but quickly powers up into another speed metal scorcher with attendant screeching vocals from Dolk. No idea what he's singing about (trolls, presumably, and not the internet kind one would assume) but Thomas again puts in a fine performance on the axes, handling lead and bass with equal aplomb. Completely fooling me, the song fades down to nothing in the third minute, there's about a second or two of silence then it comes back up on dramatic, harder guitar, slower and with a vocal so deep it sounds like our man Dolk has descended to the Underworld and is shouting up at us from there. Not sure whether I prefer (if prefer is the correct word) his screaming or his growling, but at least there's not so much of it in the "second movement", as it were, of the song, and we can concentrate more on the talents of Thomas.
Great little solo from him in the fourth minute, until that is Dolk spews all over it like some sort of lunatic screaming, and so the song winds on, gaining a little in tempo now but not quite as fast as it was at the beginning. I guess you have to give the boys some credit: it's a lot of noise and not the worst music to be made by just two guys. Probably needs a mellotron though...
Thomas takes over for the last minute more or less, the song instrumental apart from a few grunts from Dolk, then we're into "Norse", the only English language track on the album, not that it makes any difference as you still can't make out what Dolk is singing! Some backward masking starts it off, then a frenetic guitar riff blasts the song along in almost power metal territory while Dolk does what Dolk does. Very catchy, if I can use the word, melody, especially if you ignore or shut out the screeching, snarling vocals. Still, as I say, the guy could be singing in Norwegian here too for all the sense I can make of what he's singing.
When Thomas is allowed to cut loose his guitar for once sounds bright and clean, and in fairness Dolk seems to have discovered that drums will also work if you just hit them; you don't have to batter them into submission. It's almost a boogie blues beat as the vocalist plays with his new toy with the wonderment of a child who has just realised that great as the box is, there's something better inside it! Mind you, that doesn't last long and like that same child Dolk is soon back playing with the box, pounding it, kicking it, jumping up and down on it, anything that will make the most noise. Thomas, almost ignoring him, continues playing what has become some fine neo-classical guitar, and whether he's wasted in the band or whether Dolk is (for me) the weak link, the two are almost complete opposites of each other to my ears.
Hold on to your pikestaffs, because "Svart Og Vondt" is the longest track, edging the eight-minute mark, and starting with another big howl from Dolk (oh goody!) then moving along in a rhythm that reminds me in places of Iron Maiden's "Quest for fire"; the drums have managed to get a reprieve and Dolk is again trying them out as an instrument and not something to destroy. Really, if there was a way to strip the vocals out of this album I think I'd quite like it, though then I guess it would be something different altogether. I just don't have much respect for people who think they can sing when all they do is growl and roar, but then that's just me. Dolk is probably considered a really good vocalist in his genre; just not for me. Thomas on the other hand is an excellent guitarist, and I would love to hear an instrumental song on this album to really appreciate his sound and his technique. I doubt we'll get that though. With a howling, laughing roar Dolk is off again; I think I heard the word "suffering" in there (though probably not as this isn't in English) and if so, I know how he feels.
Luckily enough it's not too much later that it all fades down and away, but Dolk ain't gonna let me off that easy, and "Mørk Pest" (emphasis on the pest part!) bursts upon us with another of what I'm seeing now to be his characteristic roars. Great hard hammering guitar from Thomas and it's mid-paced, if such a description can be applied to this kind of music, with almost a sense of progressive metal lurking in there somewhere too. In general it kind of thunders along with Dolk sounding angry really. One thing I do find odd, even funny about most of these tracks is that they fade. I really don't expect metal of any kind to fade: it usually ends on a hard guitar chord, scream or yell, or even a roll on the drums. But fade? Still, that's what happens with ninety percent of what's here. That didgeridoo is back to open the final track, which is also the title one. A much more restrained, almost whispering Dolk for a few moments anyway and a nice sense of suspense and buildup in the song, the shortest at just over three minutes and the closest it would appear to an instrumental on the album. Almost laidback, which is not a word I expected to use with this band at all. With the barest minimum of input vocally from Dolk it comes out as my clear favourite for obvious reasons, and a good one to close on.
TRACKLISTING
1. I Ondskapens Kunst
2. Troll, Død Og Trolldom
3. Norse
4. Svart Og Vondt
5. Mørk Pest
6. Fra Underverdene
So what do I think of this band? To be honest, they're probably about the best I've come across in my six-month search so far. Despire the annoying screech and growl of the vocalist I'm conscious of some real talent here, and the fact that this is the product of only two bandmembers is laudable. I wonder what their other albums, with now a four-piece, sound like? Sadly, the voice of Dolk will mean I never want to listen to another of their albums, unless it's instrumental or he somehow has changed his style. But as a metal band Kampfar are certainly interesting, and not one you soon forget. I mean, how many other bands in this genre, never mind subgenre, can boast the usage of an Australian aboriginal native instrument in their repertoire?
And therefore, really on the strength of their diversity and the fine guitar work of Thomas, and despite the jarring, don't-shout-at-me-I've-just-had-six-pints voice of Dolk, I'm proud to be finally able to award one of these random metal bands a reasonable cleaver rating.
Oh, and thanks, O Metal Gods! Finally...
