Dateline: April 14 2013
Message begins....
Welcome to the first edition of the New Music Banter Members' Journals Update Thread. We've finally been given out very own thread, so no more piggybacking on the "What's going on" thread! Yay!
First let me apologise for the turn the posts took recently. Having injected some humour into the update I feel I let it take over and it became more a comedy slot than a serious update. I know some people liked it, and I appreciate your comments, but in fairness the first and really only aim of this post, now thread, should always be to inform people about the journals being kept in the Members' Journal section, and to advertise them and try to encourage people to visit them. In that I feel I failed you all, and I offer my apologies. It'll be a lot saner from now on. Who said boo?
Seriously: no more guest reviewers, no more lengthy comedy routines, no more "Jesus-you've-written-ten-paragraphs-and-still-not-mentioned-any-journals!" From now on, the focus is and will be detailing the content and status of the Journals Section.
With that in mind, let's get right to it!
And we have, for I think the first time in this update ever, a full page of entries! Right down to the end of page 1! Well done guys!
Antonio has not posted for nearly five months now, but he's making up for that this week. In
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ng-ground.html you'll find "Songs I'm diggin" with Ghost BC (who he interestingly describes as "satanic disco rock" (!), Joey Bada$$ and Odyssey, as well as looking at the soundtrack to the game "Metroid Prime". Good to have ya back Antonio!
You can always rely on
the Batlord to have something weird in his journals, and in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...t-schemes.html he's helping us comedown easy from his True Metal Epic with as he says himself, "something completely different". That could be Mayhem, or Arcturus, take your pick. Oh, and he's pleading --- well, he don't plead: demanding, ramming it so far up your --- you get the idea --- for "General Hospital" to be taken seriously. Dunno man, never watched it, but I hate medical drama of all kinds. Now, now, put that big chainsaw dow----
Or you could delve into his other journal, where
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...lks-about.html Believe it or not, this hard-as-**** metal god is trying to get into Country! Hey, but some Country is good. Oh yeah, but the Batlord and Country? Sounds like a marriage made in Hell, no? Anyway, his journey has now taken him into the world of the Man in Black: no, not that one! Johnny Cash! Tune on in and see what he thinks. That wasn't a request...
Big Ears is back! In his journal he's
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html about Frumpy 2, from, er, Frumpy, a 70s prog rock band with a singer you will NOT believe is female!
And after a short absence
CanwllCorfe, the man with less vowels in his name than you reckon there should be, is
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...an-corner.html and is ruminating about what it is that makes him love or hate certain songs. He calls it "the thing", and you can read about it by heading his way.
Another one taking up the pen/stylus/mouse/keyboard and writing again in their journal is
Kayleigh, and she's looking at songs that make her feel a certain way. Always a good move. You can check what makes her tick, musically, and how, here in
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html
Having changed the name of his journal to
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-sessions.html Goofle11 is now trying a new way of discovering new music, by watching videos of people who display their record collections. Hmm.
Ki is back with notes on albums by Darkwater, Kokomo and, er, Bring me the Horizon? Erm, yes, quite. You'll find it all (and more) here
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...er-things.html
Great to see a couple write about music, and
Ki's ladyfriend
Ladyislingering has started her own journal,
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ic-memory.html where she's looking at music that has a special meaning for her. Welcome and we'll look forward to more from you soon; any friend of Ki's....
If you haven't yet witnessed the superb art that
Pedestrian creates, shame on you! Head to
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sswalking.html right now, realise what you've been missing and beg her forgiveness for being so late to the party!
Another amazing new journal is from
The Phantasio, who is giving us what look like excerpts from a novel she's writing? And it's seriously good. You will not want to miss
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...s-journal.html --- get in now, before she becomes a famous author and you have to buy her books!
Shameless Plug time!
Plankton has very kindly asked me to review his album, which I am working on at the moment and will have posted in the next day or so in my journal, so watch out for it. Meanwhile, he's throwing some more material into
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...um-bucket.html, with the evolving story of his journey to guitar greatness, which I have no doubt he is a gnat's whisker away from achieving!
PoorOldPo has some more
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ychedelia.html for you to enjoy, including offerings from Gong, Syd Barrett, Gonjasufi and Broadcast and the Focus Group. Check them out, as he says, NOW! Seriously, you do not want to mess with this guy! He's been inside! I mean it...
Another budding author is
Psychedub Dude, and while I haven't had a chance to read his story, it looks pretty damn good, so head to
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ool-stuff.html and start reading!
Not content with starting one new journal this week, and no doubt thinking himself the Batlord or (perish the thought!) Trollheart of the Journal World --- we shall do battle Sir! ---
Screen 13 has started two! In his first, the spookily-titled
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ies-other.html he's doing exactly what it says on the tin: looking back to the days when record shops, or malls, were king; before itunes and Youtube, when you had to actualy walk to a shop to buy your music .... you don't believe any of this, do you? Walk? Shop? Money? Bah, kids today, don't know they're born, wasn't like this in my time, Generic-Oldie-Rant-About-The-Youth-Of-Today # 1,590....
And then he's back! With
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...album-day.html, this time going even further back in time, to the sixties. Screen, your writing is excellent and once I have a moment I will read all your entries, but the amount of new journals and updates this week (though I'm certainly not complaining!) has made it necessary for me just to skim through them in order to make the deadline for the update. Your work looks great though.
All of this updating and new journals being started makes me feel a little guilty, because I haven't touched either of my other two journals this week (though that will change tomorrow) and so you'll have to be content with
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html, where I'm looking at the legacy of a-ha's runaway hit "Take on me", reviewing albums by The Dixie Chicks and the new one from Bowie, and presiding over another "Marriage made in..." Suppose that's not bad really. Still, expect more. Much more. And soon. And watch for the review of Plankton's album in the next few days.
Wrapping up 1974,
Unknown Soldier has reviews of Granicus, The New York Dolls and a whole host of the usual albums that "didn't make the cut", as well as a feature on Queen!
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html now surely pounds its way to 1975. We wait in anticipation...
Normally that's it, unless Urban has some pearl of wisdom to shoot our way, and US is left sweeping up and locking the doors after everyone else has gone down the pub (ever think of changing your username? Sucks being last!)
But this time he gets to scarper and join us at the bar, as the illustrious
Zero makes a comeback, with
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-sound.html, where he's talking about the Chemical Brothers. Nice one, Z! Don't forget to turn out the lights: electricity ain't free ya know!
And that's usually where we leave it, but from today I want to open a special new section, in which I'll be taking an extract from a member's journal and posting it here, so that anyone who can't be bothered going to the section can see what they're missing. The extracts will usually be short and hopefully interesting, and with a bit of luck will encourage you to head in the direction of the journals if you're not already reading them.
And there really is nobody else we could start off with, is there? The Batlord takes comedy and an abiding love for True Metal, mixes in a generous amount of fantasy and comes up with one of the most enjoyable posts I've read in ages.
Disclaimer: the Batlord uses a lot of, ahem, colourful language in his posts, and you just need to go with the flow, so if you're offended by such language, I believe he would respond thus: **** YOU!
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord
The Lay of Sigurd: Remixed Part I
(YouTube video is: Iron Maiden "Caught somewhere in time")
It was a dark and stormy night. That's a lie. It was like 3 pm on a Tuesday, but that doesn't sound nearly as bad ass. So why the f uck did I even say anything? F uck it. So, it was a bright and sunny afternoon, and I was bumpin' Somewhere In Time by Iron Maiden, when the most awesome f ucking idea came to me. I should go time travelling. Hell yeah! First, I had to go tell my boss that I wasn't coming in to work today. I woulda called, but I had to throw my phone at some kid wearing a Slipknot hoodie. I went up to my job, and long story short, I hit him in the face with a brick. Now I just had to find a time machine. There was only one dude I could think of who might have one. Devin Townsend. What's that you say? Why would Devin Townsend have a time machine? Cause Devin Townsend is the mad scientist of metal, the mastermind behind Strapping Young Lad, and an uber genius who routinely kicks Stephen Hawking's ass at Scrabble. But a True Metalhead would know that. Which means that you're a f ucking poseur. Don't let me catch you around here, bitch. I will f uck your mother in the ass and make her lick the sh it off my dick while you watch. I guess I got kinda carried away there, but poseurs just get my goat. Anyways, now I just had to go to Antarctica and find Devin's secret laboratory.
Unfortunately, I couldn't take a plane, since I was on the no-fly list. Apparently you're not allowed to go on a plane with C4 in your underwear. Long story short, if you wanna get all the way down to the tip of South America without any money and you're not willing to suck trucker c ock, your only real option is hijacking a mother of two and handcuffing her to radiators in sleazy motels at night to keep her from going to the cops until you get to Chile. But that's another story. After that, it was a simple matter to stow away in a ship going to Antarctica to resupply some science base. Most of the scientists were poseurs, but I'd found a contact on the UMU (Underground Metal Underground) who worked there who could take me to Devin's laboratory. Time machine, here I come!
Once I arrived at the laboratory, I rang the doorbell and waited for several minutes until Devin's face appeared on a monitor next to the entrance. "Who the f uck are you?! If you're the pizza guy, I called you guys like six months ago, so you can kiss my ass if you expect a tip!" "No", I said, "I just wanna use your time machine." "No one but a True Metalhead may step foot in the Devlab. If you would enter my sanctuary, then you must prove that you're not a poseur. After all, anyone can buy a Morbid Angel t-shirt." "I am a Defender of the Faith until the day I die. I can pass any test." "Then answer this question: who would win in a fight between Lemmy and God?" "Dude, Lemmy is God." Then, the screen went black and the door opened. I entered the Devlab and made my way into Devin's inner sanctuary, where I found him making the Millennium Falcon out of LEGOs. Sweet. When he saw me, he asked, "So, how did you know that I had a time machine?" I responded, "Dude, you wrote City. Of course you have a time machine. So can I use it or not?" "Any True Metalhead is more than welcome to use my time machine. Follow me." With that, we left his sanctuary and went into another room with a bunch of time machiney looking s hit. Use your imagination. I'm f ucking lazy. Long story short, there was a pod, and buttons, and a switch, and a midget named Miguel, and before I knew it, I was a time travelling motherf ucker. Kick ass.
To Be Continued... |
Admit it: you want more, don't you? You want to find out what happened, where the Batlord went, what he did. Well, you're in luck, because next week we'll feature the second part of this YOU MUST BE JOKING! You want to read his epic tale you drag your sorry ass to his journal. The guy has put serious work into this and you need to give his journal the attention and honour it deserves. Seriously. You will never regret it even for a second.
Next week, something else.
Don't forget, you may not be a Metal Hyper-God like the Batlord, but you too can create your own journal. Just go to the section and post your thread. The mods will okay it and you're on your way. What are you waiting for? Do it. Now.
Oh, and if anyone currently writing a journal would like an extract published here, drop me a PM. And a thousand Euro. Okay, just the PM then. Cheap shower of....
See you next week, same time, new place.
Toodles.