P A N

fair enough. i wouldn't hit a man who i could readily tell was much weaker than me either though... unless he was racist or something and really needed a lesson. generally though, if i'm going to hit someone it's with the intention to knock them out for the purpose of decreasing my chances of becoming injured. i don't like fighting... i think it's pretty stupid, really. and force is something that i would generally only employ if absolutely necessary, more out of respect for myself than anything. and really, anyone smaller than me, male or female, can be subdued or restrained in ways other than hitting. i don't know. i'm thinking about it pretty hard, and it seems like fist fights are competitive in their nature, whereas most of the time violence to me is something i engage in only when necessary. i have been pushed by two people in my life to the point where i've inflicted violence because they simply wouldn't stop grilling me (both males), and i felt bad about it both times... like i couldn't believe i allowed them to have that much control over my emotional state. i didn't hit either of them because i knew i was much bigger and they just didn't need the damage to understand my point (that i was only going to take so much of their ****), but i still felt bad.

i don't know. i guess i'm just coming from a place where i think violence is very base, and walking away is the more intelligent thing to do. if someone hits me, i'd rather scream at them about how f*cking retarded they are (which i did once when i was stumbly-drunk) for lowering themselves to such ape-like behaviour. i don't take being hit as an insult. i feel sorry for violent people (probably why i'm so hard on myself when i engage in violence), and quite frankly would rather set an example of an alternative approach.