Originally Posted by Hermione

I almost died b/c of some meds I was given in the psych ward, so now I question doctors constantly but i have a nice doctor who listens to me, like I said, even though she's not my psychiatrist, but I hate all those docs.

My ex was the same! Not the most recent but the one before him (well one of the more important ones) I was terrified that he was going to come back because he'd always make an appearance in my life when he knew I'd be vulnerable even though he'd lie about his relationships and he ended up getting married to the girl he rebounded w/ after me so I felt like it was imminent he'd find me eventually so I keep massive secrets on the internets now, especially on here because he somehow knows I have an account here (he also stalks my blogs). That's why I changed my name from Paloma the first time and why I hate it when people call me that name because I don't "belong" to him anymore and anyone who insists on calling me that is reinforcing the abuse I suffered under him, he was fond of gaslighting me and I had no idea who I was and he basically told me that he'd "build me up" if I couldn't know who I was. The big difference is that I already loved myself before that bull**** but he hated himself, so he tried to drag me down to that level too.He used to **** on my poetry/art too because he wasn't artistically talented like I am. He wanted to be a writer, so he'd cut down my writing and then he'd stalk out my writing on different sites I kept it for safekeeping because I lose paper a lot but I like to keep my writings and he'd blackmail me into telling me who my writing was about and a lot of times I didn't know. He'd insist I was cheating on him because it didnt seem about him...ugh and then he'd share his crappy writing and I'd be like "um...yeah this is...great..." he'd get mad and tell me I wasn't a writer, but merely that I "shat pretty words" lmfao, I think that's hilarious though because it's totally accurate about how I write, but I don't write for anyone else but me or the person it's about. So I told him the straight up truth in a FB message and deleted him off my f/lst and blocked him.

He has low self esteem, but that That seems to happen to me a lot, I think maybe I just end up with dudes with low self esteem a lot, and that sucks. Oh well, for now I'm best by myself, I don't mind being alone for now though.