No, suicide is not cowardly, nor selfish. One of my friends committed suicide 7 years ago. It took me a long time to get over his death. And an important part of coping with the grief was realising that, no, it is not cowardly or selfish to commit suicide. Suicide is not really a choice to end your life. It's perceived as the only way to end the psychological pain.
And yes I have been angry, very angry that he did this. How could he do this to his friends and to his family? Until I realised that he could see no other way out. Suicidality causes changes in brain chemistry and physiology. It really is an illness and it must be treated with medications. And my friend did seek help. He was being treated by a psychologist. And even that wasn't enough.
Another important aspect of coping with a suicide is getting over the guilt. I kept thinking 'Had I said this or that to him, then maybe...' But I have learned that no one is responsible for for his death, and that there was no way that I could have saved him from the psychological pain he suffered from.
I have never really felt suicidal myself. There have been moments that I thought being hit by a bus wouldn't be too bad. But those thoughts were always followed very quickly by feeling that those are absurd thoughts. I could never end my life, because I know I love life too much.
|