1.1 "The good son"
Having left behind his life in Boston, along with a failed marriage and a son he hardly gets to see, Frasier Crane moves to Seattle to try to start afresh. Unwillling to replicate his old pattern though he resists setting up in private practice in the new city and instead opts to be the "phone-in" psychiatrist on a radio station. The series opens with his relating the circumstances which led to his move. He then meets his brother Niles for coffee. Niles, if this is possible, makes Frasier seem almost bearable. He's superior and condescending, and yet we will grow to love him as the series progresses. He's also quite fastidious, almost to the point of being neurotic about cleanliness. Here we see him dusting down a chair with his handkerchief before he will deign to sit in it.
Niles has come to meet Frasier to tell him about thier father, a retired cop who he worries should not be living on his own. He has had another fall, and Niles has made arrangements for him to be moved into a convalescent home. Frasier of course will not hear of it and so is manipulated into allowing him to move into his new apartment. There's a great scene just before the father arrives where Frasier is playing his piano. He hears the doorbell, stops playing, closes the lid of the piano, trudges to the door like a boy dragging his feet, takes one last, despairing look back at his apartment, knowing it will never be the same for him again, and opens the door.
Things don't exactly go swimmingly. Though Frasier pretends he wants his father there Martin knows he is not welcome, and is embarrassed that it has been decided that he cannot be trusted to be left alone. He brightens up however when his favourite chair, which he has had brought over from his apartment, arrives. Frasier is aghast: the thing is a nasty, split-pea green monstrosity that clashes with everything he owns. Martin however counters this argument by reminding his son that he has just this moment been talking about the "eclectic" nature of his own furnishings, none of which match each other, so he can't complain about Martin's favourite recliner.
But worse is to come. As Niles makes a hasty exit he throws out a bombshell, asking his father if he has mentioned Eddie yet? Frasier almost collapses. Not Eddie! Dear god no, not Eddie! Please! Turns out Eddie is Martin's little Jack Russell, this being the final straw for Frasier, who meets Niles a week later and tells him it is not working out. They're going to have to go with Plan B, and organise a place for their father in that nursing home Niles was talking about. They're still not happy about it though, and Niles suggests a compromise, hiring a homecare worker.
Again, things do not go well. Martin is not happy with any of the applicants, until finally Daphne Moon, an English girl, comes to the apartment and he instantly warms to her, mostly it would seem due to her cheeky disrespect of Frasier and his furniture. She also takes a liking to Eddie, and Martin hires her on the spot. However there is a problem. She seems to have misunderstood the job; she thinks it's a live-in position whereas Frasier points out it's only part-time. Martin says he'd be happy for her to move in but Frasier isn't having it. This leads to a knock-down row as Frasier goes on about how much he's given up and sacrificed in taking his father in, while Martin is annoyed to see that he's being considered a burden, a responsibility. Frasier stalks out, and Martin goes to feed Eddie. The atmosphere is thick with resentment.
Later, Martin unexpectedly phones in to the radio show, saying he has a problem with his son. In a roundabout way he manages to apologise while also making Frasier realise that he too needs to cut his dad some slack.
QUOTES
Yes, almost every line in Frasier is quotable, but here I'll try to restrict myself to those that are really funny, or which reveal something about the character of those who speak them, or those they are spoken about.
Frasier: "I miss Frederick like the dickens of course. You know he's quite the little sportsman: plays goalie in the pee-wee soccer team. Chip off the old block."
Niles: "You hated sports."
Frasier: "So does he!"
Niles: "We would be willing to help you pay for a homecare worker."
Frasier: "A what?"
Niles: "You know: someone who cooks and cleans, and can help dad with his therapy."
Frasier: "These angels exist?"
THE DRY WIT OF ROZ
If one person keeps Frasier grounded, then three do, but at work it's Roz Doyle, the straight-talking, no-nonsense producer who sees him as an overbearing, pretentious windbag (turns out she has good instincts) and who misses no opportunity to deflate him with a cutting remark. Here I'll be looking at some of these.
Frasier (in full flight as he gives advice to a caller): "Well I think we lost him."
ROz: "No, we cut to news thirty seconds ago!"
Frasier: "How did I do?"
Roz: "Well let's see. You dropped two commercials, left twenty eight seconds of dead air, scrambled the station's call letters, you spilled yoghurt on the control board, and kept referring to Jerry, who had the identity crisis, as Jeff!"
Lupe Valez: To cheer Frasier up, Roz tells him the story of Lupe Valez, a movie star in the thirties who was determined to go out on a high. Her career having hit the slide, she decided to kill herself and leave a beautiful corpse. Unfortunately she failed in her initial attempt, vomited up the pills, slipped and hit her head on the toilet, killing herself and being found the next day with her head down the pan.
AND ISN'T THAT...?
Right from its beginnings, probably because of the popularity of "Cheers" and the producers' deseperation to make this show as famous and loved, famous guest stars were invited on to the show. A few appeared in person, particularly in later seasons, but because of the nature of the programme it was easier to have famous people voice the various callers who would ring Frasier with their problems. Made it so that stars could record their part and send it on rather than have to turn up at the studio for the show. Here I'll be noting any people who crop up whom we should know.
Claire is voiced by Linda Hamilton, of "Terminator" fame
Russell is voiced by Griffin Dunne
New character!
Bob "Bulldog" Brisco, played by
Dan Butler, presents the Gonzo Sports Show on KACL, the station Frasier works for. He is affectionately (!) known as Bulldog and is everything Frasier is not. He's loud, brash, chauvinistic, full of himself and considers himself an ordinary guy, looking down on the "college boys" like Frasier. He thinks he's god's gift and is about as cultured as a homeless tramp. He takes great delight in laughing at Frasier's sensitivity and is in fact the epitome of the jock taunting the nerd (wanna guess who the nerd is?)
He has this habit of misplacing something and then immediately declaring that someone has stolen it before he very quickly finds it. The joke runs along these lines: "Where is my [insert object here]? Somebody stole my [insert object here]! This stinks! This is total BS! This --- oh there it is!" It's a recurring joke throughout the series, never really gets old.
Daphne has moved in and Martin is making changes. Whereas Frasier normally has a sparse, healthy breakfast now he's being served a greasy fry-up. His coffee has been "spiced up" and --- dear god say it isn't true! --- someone has read his newspaper before him! He makes a little speech advising Daphne and Martin that he needs his morning routine, but he is ignored with Martin's now-characteristic bluff "get used to it" and Daphne's kind but unwavering "we'll all soon get along". At the station he is in a black mood, and confesses to Roz that he needs to find solitude, somewhere to just sit and read his book.
When he returns home he is amazed but delighted to find the apartment empty, and settles down with his book. However, he has not even started before Martin, Daphne and Eddie return. Driven out of his home again he ends up in Cafe Nervosa, where he runs into Niles. His brother suggests he should try engaging with Martin, try to find some common ground, make an effort to get to know him instead of just tolerating him. Unfortunately it's a little stilted and doesn't go very well: you can't force these things. Martin reminds him that to forge that kind of relationship takes more than a few days, it could take years. Horrified, but realising he's right, Frasier decides to give the thing a chance.
QUOTES
Frasier: "Ah yes, the Crane family specialty: Fried eggs swimming in fat, served in a delightfully hollowed-out piece of white bread. I can almost hear my left ventricle slamming shut!"
Frasier: "Dad! Dad! I can't read my morning paper: Eddie's staring at me!"
Martin: "Just ignore him."
Frasier: "I'm trying to!"
Martin: "I was talking to the dog!"
ROZ THE RAVER
Another thing we learn about Roz this episode is that she has, shall we say, loose morals? She is what would have been called in previous centuries something of a harlot. She sleeps with as many men as she can and has no qualms talking about it, nor does she see anything wrong in it. Over the course of the series naturally this behaviour will change, as she begins to realise that you can't be a slut all your life: at some point you want more than sex. Nevertheless, her sexual exploits will form quite a part of the comedy, especially Frasier's distaste of her stories and, later, his genuine concern for her as she becomes less a producer and more a friend.
AND ISN'T THAT...?
Leonard is voiced by the late Christopher Reeve, Superman himself
1.3 "Dinner at eight"
Niles comes around and meets Daphne. To his amazement it's love at first sight, for him at any rate. The boys consider how their father can be so unlike both of them: he's not interested in opera or classical music, fine food or sartorial elegance, and they decide to take him to dinner. Unfortunately there's a SNAFU and the reservations are lost, so under great duress they agree to go to Martin's choice, the Timber Mill --- "You get a steak this thick for eight ninety-five!" --- but are somewhat condescending and mocking about the lowbrow restaurant.
Martin has finally had enough and berates his children in front of everyone in the restaurant. This is the first of many times when he makes the two grown men feel like kids, and both the doctors feel suitably abashed, ashamed of their behaviour.
QUOTES
Frasier: "You do not antagonise a man whose bumper sticker reads
If you're close enough to read this I'll kill you!"
Niles: "The food is to die for!"
Martin: "Niles, your country and your family is to die for. Food is to eat."
Niles: "One of my patients had an amusing freudian slip the other day. He was having dinner with his wife and he meant to say
Pass the salt but what he actually said was
You've ruined my life, you bloodsucking shrew!"
Niles: "I'd like a petite filet mingnon, very lean, not so lean that it lacks flavour but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate. And I don't want it cooked but just lightly seared on each side, pink in the middle but not true pink. Not mauve either, something in between; bearing in mind the slightest error either way and it's ruined."
FAMILY
NILES
Here we see the depths of Niles' obsession with having things just so, as he reels off a complicated manner in which his steak must be cooked, as above. We don't see it, but no doubt he wipes the seat at his table in the Timber Mill down a few more times before sitting down. He also complains of "things haven fallen into" his baked potato, which Martin tells him are bacon bits. He doesn't like bacon bits, because of the nitrates. We will later learn that though Frasier's brother is a fussy eater, he in some ways has reason to be, as he is allergic to a wide variety of things.
It's also funny that he expresses a specific number of olives that must be in his drink: two only. Frasier conspiratorially tells the waitress if she brings it with three, or with four, he will send it back, then promptly orders the same for himself, showing that critical and mocking as he may be of his brother's tastes, he is just as guilty of being picky.
MARTIN
This is the first time Martin speaks at any length about his wife, Frasier and Niles' mother. It's clear he had a deep, abiding love for her and that he misses her greatly. It's also clear that she had vastly different tastes to his, but that he accepted her for what she was and she enjoyed many of the things he did, probably just to please him. He tells the two brothers, as they mock the restaurant he has chosen, that she would be ashamed of them.
AND ISN'T THAT...?
Pam is voiced by Patti LuPone (yeah, I don't know her...)
1.4 "I hate Frasier Crane"
Martin is looking at an old case he has yet to solve, a murder which took place twenty years ago. Niles calls around for dinner and lets his brother know that a local columnist has written an unflattering piece about him entitled "I hate Frasier Crane". When he gets the chance Frasier hits back at Derek Mann, who wrote the piece, through his radio show. However his saracastic comments don't go down well with Mann, who elaborates in his next column with a point-by-point critique of the show. Determining not to respond, Frasier does exactly the opposite. He rails against Mann, who challenges him to a fist fight.
Unable to back down as the challenge was made on air, Frasier worries that he may not be able to take the guy. Martin however is delighted that Frasier is actually standing up to the bully, but less happy when Frasier tells him he's not going to go through with it. His father reminds him of an incident from his childhood where he backed away from a schoolyard fight, and Martin sees this fight as a matter of honour. The day of the fight dawns, and there's a big crowd. Frasier has decided to go ahead and keep his promise. Niles points out to him the hulking figure of Derek Mann, and Frasier's confidence begins to desert him. Nevertheless he has to go through with it, but as he walks out and the fight begins it is suddenly broken up by the police. Turns out Martin has called in a favour to save his son's honour. And hide.
QUOTES
Frasier (looking down at Eddie the dog from the dinner table): "Oh will you stop staring?"
Niles (who has been looking surreptitiously at Daphne): "I wasn't staring!"
Roz: "Dr. Crane, on line 5 we have Stuart, who's having a problem with delayed gratification."
Frasier: "Well he's just gonna have to wait!"
Niles (filing his nails): "What is it that makes us Crane boys such targets?"
FAMILY HISTORY
As the show goes on we learn more about the characters and about the backstory of both the Crane family and those of the other associated characters. These help us build up a more solid picture of both Frasier and his contemporaries, and on occasion give us an insight into why he is like he is.
FRASIER
Billy Creezle: Here we are shown that Frasier was a nerd in school (surprise, surprise!) and like all nerds had his bully who made his life miserable. Frasier's was Billy Creezle, with whom he was supposed to have a fight after school. But Frasier ducked out of the meeting, crying off to take a clarinet lesson. The shame has stayed with his father ever since, and he lets his grown-up son know that this also permeated down into his working life. Billy's father was also a cop, in the same precinct, and whenever Martin was unable to meet for a beer they would laugh and say "Oh have you a clarinet lesson to go to?"
He's obviously delighted when Frasier finally stands up to the new Billy Creezle, in the shape of Derek Mann, erasing for once and for all that stain of dishonour that Martin has seen as remaining upon the Crane name. He knows however that no matter how much he loves and supports his son, he can't be expected to take on a brute of a man like Derek Mann, so discretely arranges for the fight to be broken up. When he smiles to the cop in an aside that "the Crane boys don't take clarinet lessons anymore" he is met by a blank look, until he realises this cop did not operate out of his precinct.
There's also a funny scene which shows that it was not only Frasier who was bullied by Creezle. When Niles asks him why he is fighting Frasier says "It's Billy Creezle", to which a suddenly scared Niles gasps "Where?" and looks around in terror, as if expecting the bully to appear before him.
FAMILY
Although the initial stages of Martin's moving in with his son have been fraught with tension and ill-feeling, this is the first episode where we begin to see a thawing of the relationship between the two. Initially delighted that Frasier has stood up to Mann, then bitter that he is going to break his word and finally ecstatic when his son decides to honour that word, Martin shows that though he has had occasions when perhaps he could have wished for more manly sons (or even a daughter!) he still loves Frasier and Niles, and is proud of them.
AND ISN'T THAT...?
Derek Mann is voiced by Joe Mantegna, of "Criminal Minds" fame
Lorraine is voiced by Judith Ivey (Yeah, don't know her either...)