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The Batlord · 07-19-2013, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Oh yeah, having only had two sexual experiences I didn't even think about it, but the first one was kind of unpleasant.

It was with this guy I used to know (even though I'm not gay that wasn't the unpleasant part), and we were hanging out in this girl's garage, which she had converted into her room, with about four other people. We both pretty much downed an entire big bottle of Tequila in about a half hour and were absolutely ripped by this point. So we started having one of those loud, fake, drunk arguments that you sometimes have with your friends over dumb bull**** just for laughs, when all of a sudden he just yelled out "Let's make out!" for no apparent reason. I was drunk, open, and amused by the notion, so I was like, "Okay!" and we just started full-on making out right there in front of four people who had no idea what the **** had just happened.

Then we ended up going to the other side of the garage behind some shelves and just blowing each other for about twenty minutes, but were too drunk to nut, so then we tried anal, but were far, far, far too drunk for that to work. At some point one of his friends, who I'm assuming was rather flummoxed that two dudes were just going at it about twenty feet away, left to go home, but where we were was about five feet from the door, so she walked right past us. It was awkward for her, but we were too gone to even care.

Then somehow we ended up outside by the side of the garage, and was was giving the dude a blow job, but I was really wasted, and getting my throat jabbed by a dick, so I took it out of my mouth, turned my head, threw up, and then went back to business.

Was weird. Oh yeah, and neither of us ever could manage to nut.

I almost forgot. I had ridden there with another friend, and when everybody left he was far too drunk to drive so we ended up sleeping it off in his car parked outside the house. Apparently we were so drunk that we left the gate open and the girl's whose house it was' dogs got out. So we had to wrangle them back into her yard, but there were two gates and we had forgotten about the second one, the one which we had left out of, and when we put the dogs back in the yard we still left the second gate open. So about five minutes later they got out again and we had to wrangle them back in the yard for a second time. Then they got out again, so, realizing that something was up, we called the girl and she had to come get them at three o'clock in the morning and close the second gate. Needless to say we never spoke to her again. Which kind of sucked because I'd left my shoes and house keys in her garage and she wouldn't return my calls.