(Verse)
What a mess
What a mistake I've made
for always thinking you felt the same
Oh what a shame
to be honest I'd rather be alone
than take your awful tone
don't want to hurt anymore
don't want to expect anymore
On the verse, I think it would sound better if you said "than hear your awful tone" when I sang through it, I found that it flowed better.
(Pre-chorus)
When did we drift apart?
Weren't we there from the start?
Well I'm not so sure
But I now know that for sure that the
With the pre- chorus, I think you should switch the know and now around, so it'd read "But I know now.." and perhaps take out the second "that"? So it could be "But I know now for sure that the." Also, I agree with Circus Horse on the second line.
(Chorus)
Lights are out
In our young hearts
The feelings we have is now dead and gone
So I guess this will be goodbye
Let's move on with our lives
Because the love we had is gone
Lights out
For the chorus, it'd flow better if it were "The feelings we have are now dead and gone"
I really like the concepts of this song and apart from the few critiques I left you with, it sounds like you're off to a great start. Keep up the good work!
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