Lucius - The Lucius EP Pt. 1/4
Track One - Don't Just Sit There
Don’t just sit there
Tell me what I wanna know
What I wanna know
Did you find love? Have you found love? Did you find love again?
I am not a romantic but I was in love once. For a variety of reasons the relationship didn’t last and we didn’t last much longer than the summer. It was a whirlwind romance of sorts, I was sixteen and he was seventeen. We had one of those connections that has only replicated once more in my experience thus far – the kind of connection in which you, from the start, feel that you had known the other person your entire life and that every moment of loneliness you had ever felt was not for nothing: like eating a light dinner to prepare for an indulgent dessert, it was to prepare yourself for the amount of happiness another person you could bring you. I have loved a lot of people – not in the romantic sense; in fact I often wonder if I am even capable of being
in love anymore, it’s just not something I necessarily desire or feel a need for in my life. But there is a different and wonderful difference between loving a person and being in love with a person, and I had that with Chris.
We had the indie-movie version of teenaged love; we met while working at a movie theater together. We shared a passion for Neil Gaiman and on our first date we watched the midnight premier of Stardust. We would go to parks in the middle of the night with a blanket to gaze at the stars until the automated sprinkler systems chased us away. We threw our shoes over telephone wires and made each other mixtapes (real mixtapes, cassettes and narrations and the whole package). We played Mario Brothers in his basement and made out in his car for as long as we could before one of my parents, having heard us arrive, would come out into the driveway and call me inside. He taught me how to tightrope walk and I taught him to play "Hey There, Delilah" on guitar.
Years after we had broken up and I had moved away I met Chris for coffee, pie and scrabble at the restaurant we would frequent after our shifts at the theater. It’s a strange thing, falling out of touch with someone to whom you once felt so strongly connected. The small talk we made was painful, and the question we were both dying to ask was whether or not the other person had found someone else. We knew we couldn’t be together, the timing wasn’t right. But Chris will forever be the person I had to set free, because I loved him. In some ways I’ll always be waiting for him to come back.