I wish me and my wife were more sexually compatible
When we have sex, it is good - sometimes very, but it doesn't happen nearly as much as I'd like and I end up taking care of myself more often than not. Unlike me, she doesn't really fantasize much about sex and when she does, it's mostly about scenarios like two strangers meeting in an elevator. Basically, I think she fantasizes about scenarios that lead to sex more than the sex itself. My advances in the bedroom seldom gets the desired response and getting her to want sex at all is a challenge. She seldom has any ideas or special wishes that would spice things up. Thoughts that she considers naughty, most would probably think of as relatively tame. For some strange reason, I think she feels 'kinky' sex is too taboo or shameful to fantasize about.
I've tried to get her more interested in sex, but my attempts fail. F.ex I proposed to have a day each where one of us takes total control and decides what's gonna happen. I had my go at it and enjoyed it a lot, but then it was her turn. What I really wanted was of course to make her think about sex, want it, take control and spice things up for once. Of course, she forgot about the whole thing and after a while, I stopped with the reminders. It just wasn't gonna happen in a way that wasn't entirely contrived.
The biggest turn on for me is just basically when chicks are really horny. My ex was an animal in bed with a seemingly unsatiable appetite and a delightfully dirty mind. I would never cheat on my wife, but man how I wish she was more like my ex in that respect.
My wife, being less sexually demanding, is generally happy with the sexlife we have and has little real motivation to change things, even if she sympathizes when I bring it up. I feel like the problem just gets bigger and bigger. What can I do?