Tumor's incomplete list of god-tier Britney Spears songs
Breathe on Me: This song makes me think I might be in love with her. It's about sexual tension being better than sex itself. The hook is insanely sexy and her light, breathy vocals make it sound like she's whispering this into your ear.
Touch of my Hand: The song that inspired millions of teenage girls to start masturbating. A really gorgeous song about taking control of your sexuality. Probably the most beautiful song about self-pleasure ever recorded. The hook is very strange, it's meant to sound exotic and I think it draws you in.
I've Just Begun: Another song about taking control of your sexuality. Britney wrote it! If you don't go hard to this song at your bachelorette party then you're a failure and your kids will be born ugly. If cheating on Justin Chia Pet Timberlake was the birth of crazy Britney then this song was her baptism. A song about how casual sex can be a good thing, a VERY, VERY GOOD THING.
Break The Ice: It's so hard picking out songs from Blackout. If you really want to know the best part of Blackout, just listen to all of it. It's my favorite album ever recorded and if I didn't have it to listen to while I work out, I'd probably weigh 10,000 pounds. Anyway, people talk about how Britney Spears isn't sexy or beautiful anymore (which is bull****, ask me for proof if you want it)
but this song makes me think that she could have anybody she wanted. The only single on this list.
Toy Soldier
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Ooh Ooh Baby
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Perfect Lover
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Three of the best songs on Blackout, I can't pick just one. They're almost in a row, they're separated by "Hot as Ice" which is a ****ing amazing song but not god-tier. Blackout was so flawlessly produced. Danja is absolutely brilliant. She sounds like some crazy-sexy goddess on Blackout, especially in these songs. I almost had a heart attack when I found out she recorded Blackout while pregnant. "Ooh Ooh Baby" is sort of the song that made me love Britney as much as I do. It was 2007 and I was probably listening to Hot Topic-core and dressing like Dahvie Vanity threw up on me but I was still obsessed with pop culture and I could relate to Britney as she was going crazy. When Blackout leaked, I didn't listen to the whole thing because I didn't want to seem "uncool" but I did listen to this song when I happened upon it on youtube. I was absolutely blown away.
I Will be There: Notice this is the only song on this list that's from her early era. Not that I don't still listen to those albums to make me happy while I clean the house. God knows I do.
This song just makes me so happy, it's such a sweet and genuine song and I'd be lying if I said nobody's ever walked in on me singing this into my hairbrush. Whenever I feel really sad, I just listen to this song and I realize that things aren't worth giving up on. BTW, I'm probably in love with Britney Spears if you haven't figured that out by now. She's a sagittarius and I'm a taurus so it totally makes sense, but that's a whole different tangent I don't feel like going on now.
Mona Lisa: The song Britney wrote about her break down. The demo version is a million, billion times better than the cleaned up one. Whoever cleaned up the demo should be lynched, it butchered a masterpiece. You can tell Britney's talking about herself. When she says, "Now she is taking over," you believe it. You can hear the anger in her voice. It's a sarcastic and condescending song and I think it proves that Britney's a lot smarter than people think she is. Probably my favorite Britney Spears song and it makes me so sad that The Original Doll was aborted.