Lucius - The Lucius EP Pt. 3/4

Track Three - Go Home
Press on my heart I will say
I don’t need you anyway
I don’t need you
Go home
Go home
There’s desperation to these lyrics. It’s a statement to which I think we can all relate in some way, a feeling we have all needed to express. I’m reminded of ex-boyfriends and old love interests; of friends and family members with whom I’ve had ugly falling outs. There are people we develop feelings for and connections to, people by whom we are then betrayed.
There is a peculiar craving for loneliness that appears in my cycles of depression. I want at once to be comforted by loved ones and left alone in my suffering. There is always a push and pull, an inner battle that is raging. Press on my heart, push me past my levels of comfort and I will turn and run without looking back, often times to my own detriment.
My best friend and I had an aggressive, aberrantly malicious argument the night of my suicide attempt in June, and before she left I said something very similar to the song’s cry: I don’t need you anyway, go home.” We have since made up, but it’s a feeling I’ve voiced on more than one occasion and to a variety of people: I’m happier on my own (I’m so lonely), I don’t need you anyway (please help me), go home (don’t leave). I’m hard-headed but completely soft inside.