Originally Posted by The Batlord

Back when I was a little pre-teen, or maybe just recently a teen, I still hadn't figured out how to whack off, though I had been a hardcore porn addict since the fourth grade. Shocking, I know. Anyways, I'd been trying to figure this out for a while now, when I got the idea in my head to give the ol' vacuum a try...long story short, if you're gonna jerk off in a vaccum cleaner, and it's one of those bagless ones with a clear tube, then you might wanna think about cleaning it out every once in a while. Or else your mother will have questions. And then she will have a conniption.

Originally Posted by grindy

Basically you're David Hasselhoff.