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Old 10-03-2013, 04:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
Trollheart
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Default Trollheart's Psychic Album Reviews

I've had some pretty damn stupid ideas in my time but this must trump them all! It occurred to me that often, when listening to albums for the first time, I'll have preconceived notions or ideas about what certain tracks will sound like, what tempo they'll be at, how they'll be played and what they'll be about. Often this is based on the title but also sometimes what I know of the artiste. Of course, in more than 99 cases out of 100 (uh, that would be all of them, but you know what I mean) I'm totally wrong.

So I thought why not do this? I'm going to select an album I've never heard before, whether by an artiste I'm familiar with or not, and try to "pre-review" it. I'll be guessing what the album is going to be like, what the songs are going to sound like, and so on. Naturally, I expect to get it wrong every time.

This is NOT supposed to be serious. I'm just having fun here. I don't expect to get it right any more than 0.0001% of the time --- if I'm lucky. But at best it will be a laugh. So come with me and snigger at my inept attempts to predict what an album will sound like, giggle as I get it totally wrong, and by all means feel free to send me albums you think I might have a go at giving the Psychic Review (Patent Applied For, Trademark in process).

These won't be my usual long-drawn-out reviews of course. I'll tell you the album and who it's by, then go through it track by track saying what I think each is going to sound like, and then having listened to it, see how wrong I got it. At the end I'll score my performance and see how badly I've done. Fun, eh?

Some people probably think I take my journals too seriously. Well, yes I do. I put a lot of work and effort into them and why wouldn't I take them seriously? But we all have to take the time to laugh at ourselves once in a while, so here's one that's purely for laughs, and the joke will invariably be on me. So sit back, crack open a beer and grab some popcorn, and watch me fuck it up each and every time.

My mission statement: One hundred percent wrong, one hundred percent of the time, or your money back.

I'll be back with my first album in a day or so.
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