Um, that's not serious is it? Tell me you're not speaking from personal experience. You may not like me, but I sincerely hope this is not something that happened to you in real life. I really don't care if I sound like an idiot, if everyone else realises it's some in-joke and I don't get it: if this is reality I really hope you're ok.
Yeah, so I'm a worrier and a dweeb: sue me.
Seriously, I hope you're all right.