Me: Mick! I know you must be busy from the rock n roll lifestyle, how about coming round mine for dinner tonight, my treat.
Mick Jagger: "Ahh, look at me, I'm shattered."
Me: I'm not surprised. What kind of food do you get on the road?
Mick: "Methalated sandwich!"
Me:...right....Well, A home cooked meal would surely set you straight?
Mick: "I don't need no fancy food, I don't need no fancy wine."
Me: surely just a drop couldn't hurt?
Mick: "Just one drink! And I fall down drunk!"
Me: Oh my, we don't want that. Maybe just some soft refreshments instead. I'd love for us to propose a toast.
Mick: "Let's drink to the hardworking people!"
Me...well...we could, but i'd rather we drink to good health...
Mick: "Let's drink to the salt of the earth!"
Me: Them as well....okay, if you insist. Any preferences for the main course while we're-
Mick: "Say a prayer for his wife and his children!"
Me: Yeah..yeah we've covered that Mick, let's talk about the main course.
Mick: "Cold Italian pizza! I could use a lemon squeezer!"
Me: Well the pizza sounds fine....not really sure what a lemon squeezer...is...Are you sure you wouldn't want your pizza warmed up?
Mick: "Hot stuff! Can't get enough!"
Me:...is that a yes or a no?
Mick: "I've got no expectations"
Me: Right, so i'll just go ahead and heat the pizza for us. And you're happy with that?
Mick: "Well you cant always get, what you want!"
Me: Well you can! I've asked you to tell me exactly what you want. For instance. What would you like for desert?
Mick: "The big apple! Don't mind the maggots!"
Me: Well I bought them, fresh this morning, do you want me to check for magg-
Mick: "Oh cherry, oh cherry, oh baby!"
Me:....you want cherries as well? Right. not a problem Mick. Just...try not to interrupt. Do you want anything on them? Seems odd just to have plain fruit.
Mick: "Brown sugar!"
Me: Oh, didn't see that one coming. Right, we could melt some brown sugar over the top if you'd like?
Mick: "Let it loose, let it all come down!"
Me:....yep....yeah i'll...i'll do that...Mick, just-
Mick: "Press your lips to my hips babe!"
Me: Pardon?
Mick: "If you really want to be my frieeennd"
Me: Mick, there are limitations to friendship...I'm not sure what you're asking me to do.
Mick: "All I want, is for you to make love to meee."
Me: Good god, Mick! All I wanted was to have dinner! This is sick!
Mick "I've been holding out so long. I've been sleeping all alone! Lord I miss you!"
Me: Well I missed you too Mick! But I don't want...this! I bought new cutlery for the occasion
Keith: "You got the silver!"
Me: Not now, Keith!
Mick: "Don't you wana live with me!"
Me: No.....no, i'm not even sure where you live....This has been a mistake, Mick...It's been a mistake
Mick: "I refuse to let you go!"
Me: Get help Mick....beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeep
Mick: "If I don't get some shelter, oh oh i'm gonna fade away."
that's why I wouldn't have anyone round for dinner....
__________________
'Well, I'm a common working man,
With a half of bitter, bread and jam,
And if it pleases me, I'll put one on ya man,
When the copper fades away!' - Jethro Tull
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