...and then God made metal
It was 1970, and The Beatles just weren't hard enough anymore. Therefore, God made them split up, and said “let there be metal”. And then there was. Four men, Tony Iommi, Ozzy Osbourne, Bill Ward and Geezer Butler got the mission of spreading the Word of Metal, and the same year they released:
Black Sabbath
Before I even mention the music, I'm asking you to look at the album cover. “Again? Do I have to?” Yes, again. Just do it. Please don't tell me you aren't filled with a sense of doom and despair, along with a mild heat spreading from your heart and all the way to your fingertips? Now, put on the album. The rain, the thunder, and the bells. Before the music has even started, you already know this is going to be some heavy sh!t. I hope you like the blues, though. The rest of the album is dominated by it. The next track even has harmonica in it, but that's alright.
Right? If you don't like polka tulk blues, just wait until the fourth track, “N.I.B.”. That one is ultra-heavy. It's also told from the view of Satan. “But why does it have to be so dark?” you ask while peeing your pants. I'll tell you, it's because Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple had already tried to spread the word of Metal before, but not succeeded, so in order for it to work, Sabbath had to make everything so damn heavy as humanly possible, and it did succeed, they just needed a strong enough dose. That's why. They could have spread it out on the tracklisting a little more though, since the rest of the album isn't even close to touching the first half in terms of heaviness. Not that it's
all that matters, but some people just don't seem to treat their missions seriously. Also, it has two blues rock covers, one of which is ten and a half minutes long without really needing to be. But I guess that's just the kind of thing that makes you appreciate the gift of Metal even more. Especially track one and four.