Impressions On "Home"
Part 2
It's weird, things continued on somewhat smoothly after that. I mean, no one was employed and food was scarce, but I can't really remember a time when it wasn't like that. I hadn't made any true friends at my new school yet, there's a couple people I talk to occasionally, but that's it. I mostly spend my lunches by myself, doing whatever. I don't really care about making a ton of friends here, to be honest. I've made it to Reno a few weekends, and seen old friends. At least my parents have started to look for jobs, as have I. But up until just this week, we've had absolutely no luck.
I'm going to try my best to address another sh*tty night, but I don't remember all too much of it. It was late, my dad was sitting up drunk listening to our radio. My mom was doing some beading on the corner of their bed. My dad had been mumbling gibberish to himself for about an hour, and when he decided to use real words, his statements were completely nonsensical. It was about midnight, and I had school the next day. All lights were on and he had the music as loud as it would go. I was considerably tired. My dad said something along the lines of "...they can sit there and suck their own dicks and maybe they'll realize how bad it feels to know someone so much better than them." I don't know, I can't quote anything correctly he said that night, but I've never heard anyone talk about how much better they are than everyone else lol. Whatever he said was in obvious reference to me, even though he acted like it wasn't. I acknowledged it, I said something like "Yeah man, that's the way it is." He blew his lid from that point. Once again, I can't remember any statements 100%, but I remember the highlights of that night. There was me, throwing a full glass of water against the wall and shattering it, him, taking our garbage bag full of cans and tossing it across the room, littering the floor with them. Me, ripping a lamp unplugged and smashing it against the floor, and then doing the same with our radio.
Eh, I can't really just document the whole thing. I would have killed my dad that night if that was at all possible. After our little disagreement, I passed out for a few minutes from the subsequent adrenaline rush. I woke up and the lights were off, my mom was sobbing outside, and I don't know where my dad went. I cried the hardest I've ever cried that night as I tried to go to sleep. I've cried almost every day since that night as well, but I always hid it.
TBC