It has been brought to my attention that I have yet to do an Elliott Smith entry, and what kind of craziness is that since the freaking title of my journal is directly influenced by the line shown above from his song Waltz #2.
Elliott Smith entered into my life very unexpectedly, but in a way that was both comforting and painful. Every song I heard of his, I was relating to it. All the pain and suffering you can hear through his voice, I was feeling it. He's one of those artists where I felt that I could feel their emotion as if they were standing their right in front of me telling me about the issues they were having. There was a lot in my life that I couldn't quite figure out, and listening to this man's music made it somewhat easier to deal with knowing someone out there had dealt with the same problems. I know some may say things like "well...we're you like depressed or something? And if so, how did a depressing man help you?". You know, it's not an easy thing to answer, but it just helps. The pain you can feel from certain things offers closure, at least in my own experience.
Onto the music side of things. The first album I remember hearing from him was XO:
I remember first hearing this album and thinking "holy crap, I need to listen to this again" and so I did. And I listened to it again, and again, and again. After that, I decided to do the natural thing and just get a copy of everything he ever recorded and just listen to it all. And the same happened. I listened to his material once, and again, and again, and again. It seemed to happen so naturally, and just felt like it was something I owed myself to do. And it really was worth it, because I really got a feel for the mind that was Elliott Smith, and I grew to just love him more and more until it was painful to the soul to listen to his music, but I mean that in a good way.
After I went through the beautiful journey that was being introduced to him, it dawned on me that he was a huge part of my life, even if it had happened so quickly. It was so important that I decided to get a tattoo to remember the beauty that it was to be able to sit and listen to everything he did:
Yes, I chose this song in particular, because I remember listening to that song over and over and over again. I think my iTunes calculated at least 200 plays alone just for that song. I just loved it, and still do. It's one that really stuck to me and hit me deep, but it left a permanent mark that will never go away.
I have many other ideas for Elliott Smith related tattoos, some big, some small, but overall, he was and is one of the most important parts of my life, and will continue to be until the day I die. I find he helped me in times that I needed it, and it does make me sad to think that I will never have a chance to see him perform, or even give him a simple "thank you" for the beautiful music he created.