Black Christmas (2006)
Let’s spit the taste of cloying sentimentality out of our mouths and look at a “dark” Chrimbo movie, shall we? Nothing says Christmas like coeds being murdered by a maniac, after all, and while the title may seem the most cliched and obvious pun on one of the most popular or wished-for aspects of the holidays, it’s actually a remake of a far superior film from 1974, but this one jettisons the original’s suspense and sense of dread and goes right for the jugular (it says here) with an all-out banal slasher flick mentality that has about as much subtlety as Adam Sandler at a comedy roast. Awful. IMDB says
An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one.
Of course he does. Why do these guys always murder people --- usually girls, and nubile, helpless ones at that --- one by one? Why not just go for the big kill, get them all at once? Then said slasher can take the rest of the night off, put his bloodstained feet up and spend some quality time watching classic Christmas movies. Who’s for all this stalking, waiting, scaring, baiting, chasing? I’d rather get it all over with and have some "me" time. Better than watching this garbage anyway.
The only one I can see here who I know is Michelle Trachtenberg, who nerds like myself will know as the whiny but sexy Dawn from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. Bet she wishes she was still on that show! Didn’t it ever dawn on her that she was making a bad career move here? Sorry, had to say it. Ok, I’ll move on, no need to get rude.