Santa with muscles (1996)
This one’s so bad they don’t even have a picture of it on IMDB! Yeah, but it can’t hide from me! I tracked it down, interestingly under the legend “This is a real movie!” Hard to believe, but yes it is. Starring that old Christmas favourite, er, Hulk Hogan, you just know this is going to be as bad as it sounds. They couldn’t even be bothered to try to come up with a snappier title. I mean, “Santa with muscles”! Doesn’t even scan. They could have called it “Big bad Santa”, or “Santamania” or even “Hulk Hogan is Santa” --- crap yes but at least they’re better than what they decided to plump for. Maybe the will to live was already deserting them. I know how they feel. So does IMDB…
An evil millionaire (Hulk Hogan) gets amnesia and then believes that he is Santa Claus.
Of course he does. Let’s see, did the hulkish one manage to pressure, embarrass or trick anyone famous into appearing in this particular piece of celluloid genius? No,not really. Though Ed Begley Jr pops up in it, and Family Guy’s Meg, Mila Kunis, decides she wants a little more limelight and accepts a role. Wrong movie to choose to make your play for stardom, honey! You’ll garner more fans as Meg! Again though there’s an interesting character in the cast, which fits in perfectly with the idea of this movie and Hulk Hogan starring in it: “Cop with bazooka”. Pity he didn’t use it to blow this awful turd of a film to kingdom come!