Must be Santa (1999)
IMDB point-blank refuses to even keep a summary on this turkey, but my 24-hour Christmas movie channel comes to the rescue:
An escaped prisoner is inadvertently selected to become the successor to Santa Claus, and does his best to live up to the role.
Might be a good start not to rob the kids’ presents, new Santa! Oh how many more times are they going to trot out this tired old premise? You know what, IMDB? I don’t blame you.
Nobody of consequence stars, so it’s left to me to make a few off-colour jokes about the names of people I do not know, such as Randy Butcher (better not go into his shop wearing a short skirt!) and Arnold Pinnock, who surely should change his name to Pillock for starring in this train wreck? Oh, and it’s written by Douglas Bowie, who I think we can all safely assume is no relation. That’s it: that’s all I got.