I think everyone is capable of having a mental illness. I've been down that road myself, sometimes I feel like that part of me is still there, and I could just snap at any given moment and do something terrible, but at the end of the day I just realize that life can be whatever the **** you make of it. If you want to be angry, get angry, and try to channel it into something that's positive, instead of shooting people or yourself.
I noticed that people who are depressed, and I was there before, so I know from firsthand experience as well as just observing it in others, are often just people who don't have any real hobbies. You turn your best hobby into a lifestyle, and things can get better. You might have emotional problems for the rest of your life, and you might kill yourself someday, I might kill myself someday, but at least you'll have accomplished something. I want to do a bunch of things now, and my mind has really come along, I'm not always thinking about how ****ty my life is (and still is), but rather thinking about ideas that I could potentially make some money off of, and eventually just live comfortably, and do all of the things that I want to do.
You like music? Pick up an instrument at Goodwill and practice. Pirate some production software. Life isn't limited to just working at IKEA or Pizza Hut or Walmart, it's whatever the **** you want it to be, and there's no reason why it shouldn't be. I'd rather die trying to do something like this than spend another year or so working for some cigar smoking prick who pays $8.50 to do the worst job in the entire building.
Maybe that isn't you though, and maybe I'm just making an assumption. Maybe you just don't care anymore. I felt like I didn't care either, but then I just kind of got sick of the ****. I quit my job months ago and I've been trying to get my **** figured out. Maybe you just need to figure out your ****, although, I wouldn't recommend quitting work. Now I need a job to go through with all of this stuff, and can't find one.
|