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Old 02-16-2014, 03:22 PM   #322 (permalink)
Trollheart
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Default Update for week ending February 16 2014

I'd just like to open with a brief tirade: ahem.
I HATE THE IRISH HEALTH SERVICE!!!


There. All done now. Let's go.

Anteater is moving on now that he's brought us all up to speed on the career of Gino Vanelli, and in some “Random reviews” he's looking at an album by Bob Drake, as well as five movies you can watch for free on YouTube! It's all here in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...n-dollars.html

Butthead
crying? Butthead?? Believe it, and stagger with almost dazed wonder to http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...therapy-s.html to find out what it takes to make tears roll down that tough, manly face!

Apparently, for no reason I can discern that stands up to any sort of scrutiny, it's Justin Bieber week! God help us! Kicking this off is Briks, where down in the depths of http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...seur-cave.html he's forcing himself to listen to and review the pretty boy's latest, er, album I suppose you'd have to call it. And if you think that's bad, read on...

Yeah, DJ is at it too! Having secured the release of his data from the Cloud with presumably the promise of his firstborn son, we get http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...chameleon.html for the first time in weeks now, and he's showing us that bloody album as well! Honestly guys! Have yiz no pride? You wouldn't find me doing that... Gotta have some standards! Good to see ya back though man!

Although he has categorically stated “this is not a journal”, I feel that Freebase Dali's status as a member here demands I mention http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nd-i-like.html, which is where he's going to drop, well, songs he likes and wants to remember. More may develop, you never know, but for now I think we look on this as FD's personal music version of Dropbox...

What's Goofle listening to this week? Check out http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ening-log.html to find out. Oh all right then I'll give you a clue: Lumbar, Arctic Monkeys, Katy B, Coat Hangers...

Speaking of people it's good to see back (I recognise the irony in that statement, yes) Janszoon favours us with an entry in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sible-man.html. I had hoped this was coming, as he mentioned something about some album being good to write to late at night, so my hopes were high. Luckily I guessed right, and this week we hear about his crossing over into the good side of town, the affluent side (The Invisible Man, that is, not Jansz: and has anyone else noticed the acronym is TIM? Huh? Huh?) and joining a party, boogeying to the Balkan music of Goran Bregnovich. Again, not my style at all musically but always worth it for the prose. Another fine entry Jansz, especially the last sentence!

Having sorted himself out after his frankly inexcusable absence last week () Ki is back and in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-music.html he has music from Devin Townsend, Paradise Lost and Pokemon as well as the officially worst ELP album ever made.

Plankton
has a new journal! In http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-mellowed.html he's looking at songs that relax him, chill him out, starting off with Jeff Beck and The Gypsy Kings. Will certainly be worth keeping tabs on.

After coming to an amicable arrangement with my lawyers, Powerstars is now contractually obliged and required to review a Pink Floyd album. He's chosen “Dark side” (good man!) --- hear his thoughts in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...sicalness.html

Speaking of me (were we?) there's a bit happening in my journals this week. In http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html we have attempted to bring some soul music in, and are reviewing albums by George Benson and Luther Vandross in a new section I'm calling, with stunning originality, “Soul2Soul”, cos there are two albums each time. Geddit? Soul 2 ... aw forget it then. What? No, not that's it. Nothing else this week. Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Well I suppose there is that.

Yes, people, I have been guilted into reviewing the damn Bieber album too. Spoiler for those of you who don't want to know:
Spoiler for What I thought of "Believe" (May surprise you!):
I hated it. What? I said MAY surprise you, not WILL surprise you! BOOO! There! Surprised?
! Still writing a lot of material for http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-emporium.html, so no new entries this week, but plenty coming in the next few days, I promise! How about some http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ver-heard.html? We finally have that one Urban kept bugging me about. Yeah, “Screamadelica”. See what I thought about it, and look for more soon.

What do you mean, is that it? Didn't I tell you I was writing tons of stuff for the Couch Potato? What do you mean, you don't believe me? No, you can't see it! Cos it's top secret, eyes only is why! I could show it to you but then I'd have to kill you. Look, trust me, it's just better this way. Some of this stuff will blow your mind. Maybe. All --- or some – will be revealed next week. Promise. Look, would I lie to you?


Everyone's getting excited about, and involved in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...y-history.html now that Unknown Soldier has hit that time period where many of us grew up and began to get into metal. Ah the early eighties! The NWOBHM was at its height and wonderful bands like Motorhead and Judas Priest were making their mark. In fact, that's what you'll find in his journal this week: Motorhead and Judas Priest. And much more to come! I tell ya, that takes me back...

Urban's been working on both his journals this week. In http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...nal-stuff.html you'll find a sort of review of Floyd's “Ummagumma” (!) while there's plenty going on over at http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...who-thing.html, with the apparently hilarious “The web planet” as well as a tribute to director Chris Barry, who passed away recently.

And finally, YorkeDaddy is the fourth one of us to rise to the challenge of (or be fooled into) reviewing the Bieber album. To get the nasty taste out of his mouth though he's also presenting his top 100 albums in a list. It's all about http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-personal.html

And now, to our

I thought about being really smart and posting my review of Justin Bieber's “Believe” in the style of Urban, but come on: I'm not going to pick one of my own posts, am I? So here instead is Butthead in a rare sensitive moment. Enjoy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by butthead aka 216 View Post
Call The Whambulance and Get Me Some French Cries



What this is:

-Specific moments in time where I was listening to a song and cried. The crying or near-crying was over a female.
-Inspired by a nostalgic plug.dj session weeks ago.

What this isn't:

-Songs that make me cry when I listen to them.
-Songs that almost make me cry when I listen to them.
-Songs that make me sad when I listen to them.

I am risking the removal of my sac by admitting this, but I have cried or come close to crying because of a girl before. To sound less like a pussy, I will start this shindig off by saying that I am anti-crying and probably haven't cried in 5 years with the exception of the time my dog got unexpected lung cancer and I had to put the ole boy down. But if you don't cry over putting a pet down, then you are likely an empty, soulless, cadaver of a human being. Back when butthead aka 216 was merely a young boy, he did not have the gargantuan coconuts dangling between his legs that he has today. No sir, he had small raisins which produced feels and emotional instability. These are all accounts of my teenage and early college years, when my testes actually fit comfortably in my briefs.


1) Archie Star - Let's Get Married



Back when I was 17ish, I ditched everything that my older friends told me, and turned a casual friends with benefits situation to a real relationship over a few months. My naive self wasn't content enough to be balls deep several times a week with no commitment or obligations, apparently. In the way that most storybook romances begin, I put it in her butt, then swigged MD 20/20 with her for a few hours before telling her I loved her and passing out in her basement. Thus, a relationship was born.

So, she had an athletic scholarship roughly half way across the country, which I knew going into the relationship. I figured I would just do what I had always done: Refuse to plan ahead and mentally block out the fact that she would someday be moving to the midwest and I wouldn't. I had always been the type to think about crossing bridges only when there was nowhere else to walk. Plan worked well until the day before she was set to board a plane to out-of-my-life-ville and then an avalanche of feels rained down on me with the force of a thousand monsoons. Myself and a handful of friends went to this festival where buffalo wing companies competed for top prize. On the way home, my friend Tara was driving with me in the passenger seat. We had a summer mixtape in the CD player and this song came on and I teared up like a wittle beebee... Tonight, I say let's just get outta this town, lets go to Seattle, watch rain fall to the ground... We had kinda jokingly discussed during pillowtalk about how cool it would be to someday just pack up and move to wherever together. But it's like getting older: When you're young, you have all these dreams and plans that you know will never happen, but the fact that there is still time left in the hourglass gives you some sort of weird false hope that you allow yourself to feel. But then the hourglass starts running out and you no longer have time on your side - the dreams are officially deceased.


I tried to do the tears-running-stone-face-wow-i-look-stoic-and-tough thing but the lip quivered and it was all over. I nearly drowned in my tears. Nobody in the car understood why I was crying so suddenly, but it was a combination of having a great night with my best friends and the realization that tomorrow I'd likely never see my girlfriend again, and we had never really talked about it. Planning wasn't my best feature.



2) Bush - Swallowed



So the next day, she leaves for wherever-the-fukc. I drive to her house one last time and it's a total wahhhhh-fest between myself, her family, her, etc. I start up the car to leave and this song comes on. Her favorite band was Bush so we listened to them a ton, and this particular CD happened to be in my stereo system... I'm with everyone and yet not... Gotta get away from here, gotta get away from here... I miss the one that I love a lot... Miss the one that I love a lot... There was a feeling of uncertainty and I had that feeling in my stomach where you kinda wanna barf but there's nothing there to vomit.

I took the back roads home and parked up the street from my parents house in this little indentation in the woods and just sat there sobbing for awhile. Partly because I didn't want my step-dad thinking I had a twat and partly because once I entered the house, I knew my weekend would be spend throwing a 1 person pity party in my room. I pretty much sobbed all weekend to the Razorblade Suitcase and Sixteen Stone albums.


3) Incubus - Stellar



If you are wondering why this is mainly involving the same girl, it's because following this relationship I learned how to deal with relationship issues like an adult: Heavy drinking with drunken shouting matches followed by apologetic yet bitter voicemails messages. So that girl ended up moving far, far away but she planned on transferring colleges once she found a match that was closer. In the meantime, I arranged to travel east to one of her away matches that was closest to home. We had a mutual friend at the college she was playing at, so I made the trip to see her. They lost the game.

I guess it was an important one or whatever, because after the game she was not nearly as happy to see me as I was to see her. My heart sunk like a battleship and I am pretty sure I lost the color in my face. When I regained color, it was probably a bright red, half due to pure anger and half due to embarrassment that I drove several hours alone for what amounted to a quick hello. Ok, it was a little more than that, but I remember her being really short with me and kind of in a hurry to get out of there. In hindsight, she was probably cheating on me with some guy named Jamal in St. Louis and felt shame in looking me in the eye, but anyways... I hopped into my car and drove 100 the whole way home. Again, the mixtape got to me when this song came on. By this time, my large sac had begun to grow so I no longer had the capability to cry like a bitch. I did the angry-teeth-grinding-cry on the drive home. As I approached my parents' driveway I felt my tear ducts glue themselves shut to preserve my penis. That was the last time I cried over a girl.
And so we close the door and thank you for coming, Please leave quietly and do not take any souvenirs with you --- no, not Goofle's masterlist! And you there, put DJ's razor prop down! Come on: hand them over. Thanks for your custom, hope to see you again next week.

Till then,
Toodles!
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